One said, "Abby, you didn't tell me you were pregnant!"
She is 18 and has a one year old daughter, and it felt very strange, indeed, for her to want to compare notes, and for her to share with me how painful labor was for her. I changed the subject as quickly as I could. While smiling and saying thanks.
Then she asked if my "boyfriend" was involved... my moment of truth, for the first time with a patient. I gave her the most abridged version I could come up with.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Stop lying." (said with a teasing smile)
"No really, I don't."
"Then how did you do it?"
"I used an anonymous donor. And a doctor."
"So how do they decide which donor to give you?"
(I love this question. An SMC thinker that I met on Sunday told me that her mother asked the same question, and I quipped that she should've answered, "I'm just hoping they don't give me the black one!")
But I was professional and composed and just explained that you can pick your donor, just like an online dating service. Then I asked how her daughter was doing, and the baby's father.
The second patient said, "Abby, you look different, like you are putting on weight." And I confessed my truth to her. At least with this one, she's already graduated from high school (last June... she came back to visit me for a pregnancy test... I pointed out that she could buy one in the drugstore, but she said no, she wanted to come in... and while visiting, asked if I could please [someday] deliver her baby... because she's never trusted another doctor... I do love my girls), so it somehow felt less weird, like we are both adults.
The funny thing was that her friend, currently a 12th grader, and also close with me, then came down to my office to help her friend survive her first Depo Provera (birth control) shot. So in the midst of the drama that unfolds when a needle phobic person decides, sort of, that getting an injection is a good idea... her [graduate] friend tells her [the 12th grader] that I'm pregnant, and the other one retorts, "Abby is not pregnant. Now stop stalling."
She apparently thought her friend was making it up. Which is funny, given my appearance these days. But god bless her for not noticing! It's always reassuring to work with people and cultures that don't really care about a little weight gain here or there.
And in the meantime, I bought a "Snoogle" pregnancy pillow (could the name be any worse???) to be at the ready for whenever I need it. I assume that time will be obvious? I bought the pillow for $10 off of the Park Slope Parents classifieds.
I also bought this, also used.... half bouncy seat, half cradle... which glides back and forth via battery power, for $20. It seemed like too good of a deal to pass up... but it also seems like probably one too many items of newborn baby furniture. Especially since my sister is giving me my niece's old bassinet, which I would not have bought myself. I'm justifying it by telling myself that it's the only one I paid for... and at a bargain price, to boot. Everything else is being inherited, which makes me happy. But it's sort of nice, in a mind tripping sort of way, to have a piece of baby furniture in the house now (everything else will arrive the weekend of the baby shower, when my family drives down from Massachusetts... my sister's items are being stored in my mom's basement for my cousin to bring... how convoluted is that???)... I look at it several times a day, trying to imagine a baby, my baby, inside it. It looks impossibly big... how can anything coming out of my body possibly outgrow this thing in just a few short months?
Hand-me-downs are the BEST!! My sister has been cleaning out her attic since I told her I was pregnant at 4 weeks. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for your questions on my post.. Right now I plan on hanging everything. I don't have room for a dresser. I am getting a hand-me-down changing table from my sister which will have some baskets to store things and once as I get that in the aprtment I might see about putting a shelf over it for more storage. But my sister hung (and still hangs) her boys clothes and it worked for her and she has a HUGE house with many options.
Also, I'd love to get together sometime. you can reach me at obernon at hotmail dot com.
What great patients to tell youbhow special you are to them. Enjoy your growing collection of baby gear. Mine is getting up there and am setting up the nursery today. Finally - only 5 weeks to go!
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