True Confessions of a Single Mama

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Weaning?

I think I'm starting the weaning process.

First, I'm ending the early morning feedings. She skipped it earlier in the week, so the next two mornings, I only let her nurse on one side. And then this morning, she slept straight through again; a little more than twelve hours in the crib without needing anything from me. Hooray!

So now I think that instead of trying to taper off the feedings, I'm just going to gut it out and do pure CIO. She doesn't need to eat then. I tried to do this last spring but it resulted in her starting her day WAY too early, like 5:30 am. But now that she's older, I'm much more comfortable saying, "I don't care if you're awake. It's too early to get up so you're staying in your crib, awake or not." Luckily Calliope almost never cries in the morning. She plays happily until whatever time I get up. On the weekends, it's often 8 am. She talks or sings or plays quietly enough that it's hard to hear her, so I have no idea what time she woke up.

Anyway, I'm not looking forward to the new regime change, even if I do think it's necessary. As much as I know she doesn't need to eat, I still hate to "make" my girl cry. I reckon I will go in once, after making sure she's truly upset and not going back to sleep, to give reassurance and make sure everything is all right, ie no dirty diaper or the like. And then leave. This will no doubt make her more upset than if I never went in... but it makes me feel less guilty to lie in bed (or work out) and listen to her cry, knowing that she's not vomiting or feverish or in soaking wet pajamas.

Hopefully this part won't take more than three days.

And then next week... I think I want to start weaning in earnest.

This is hard. I don't know if it's the right time. I don't really feel strongly either way.

I always imagined I would nurse until she was two. But she seems like she's at an age where it wouldn't be hard to just distract her -- this morning, she asked for a banana when I went into her room, though she was happy to nurse instead when I offered. So why not just offer a banana? (I didn't want to do this today because of the risk of getting engorged and also... I'm not quite ready!)

I don't love breastfeeding, but neither do I hate it. It's okay. When she lunges for me with a mouthful of teeth, I always tense up in fear for a moment... but she hasn't bitten me since she was nine months old. When she's teething, her latch is sometimes a little uncomfortable, but not severely painful.

Mostly, it just feels a little ridiculous to have the big toddler strewn across my lap. She's getting so big and grown up. I wouldn't question someone else nursing their sixteen month old, but... I think maybe I'm getting ready to move on?

So, my tentative plan is to start skipping the morning nursing next week, and see how that goes. If all goes well, both physically and emotionally, I could try skipping the evening one a week or two later.

I'm a little worried about post-weaning blues. Apparently this is common as the hormones re-regulate themselves as a non-nursing mother.

On the other hand, once she's done with nursing, I can try taking these herbs that a Bay Area doctor told me about that might hopefully get my hormones back in whack so that it's not so hard to lose weight. That would be great if it works out, but I've had my hopes dashed so many times that I'm not holding out too much hope over it, either.

Can anyone think of a reason that I should not wean???

Hooray for the De-Lurked!

Thanks for taking a peek out from behind the curtain. It feels really wonderful to know who you are and that you are following our little lives. For whatever reason you follow us, I thank you. You have no idea (unless you are a blogger yourself) how great it makes me feel!

xoxo,
Abby

PS And if you haven't yet introduced yourself, I hope you will -- I'd love to hear from you!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

According to others, it's

So leave me a comment and tell me something about yourself! Are you an SMC (currently or in the making)? Where do you live? (City and state). What brings you to my blog?

I'd love to have a proverbial peek at you! And thanks for reading in the first place.

And to those who already comment... I love you guys!

Language Explosion

Sixteen months has been an amazing time for language development.

Calliope is suddenly repeating everything I say. And she comes up with some surprising words when I least expect it.

Today's new words include both "teeth" and "sneeze." Neither of these were at the top of my list for "words to teach my child." But she's just observing everything that everyone says around her, and apparently these were the ones that interested her today.

She also asked today, out of the blue, "Yie Yie Yo" for E-I-E-I-O as in, for the song. Without prompting. Pretty cool!

She makes these noises now that I once treated as babble, but at least half the time, are intentional and meant to be words... though I don't always figure out what she's trying to say.

She's also signing a lot, but remembers (and slightly mis-remembers) signs from our signing video when I have no idea what they mean.

It's amazing to watch. I'm so, so happy we've done the sign language. Most words she either uses sign language or spoken words, not both, and she's been signing meaninfully since before she could speak. The "hungry," "more," "water," and "all done" signs have definitely simplified our lives incredibly and surely headed up tantrums when I would've otherwise been clueless as to what she wanted.

Here she is, well, was last month, signing "change me" (plus "belly" at the end).

Her favorite songs right now are "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." For both, she starts making approximately appropriate hand gestures and crooning wordlessly in unspeakably high pitches. Very, very funny. I keep trying to catch it on video but she tends to stop when she sees the camera.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

I Knew Our Lunch Date Was Over When

My Facebook status update for today:

I knew our coffee shop lunch date was over when she carefully applied the cream cheese side of her bagel to her scalp. That she then commenced to rub it back and forth seemed gratuitous.

What I didn't mention was that after I pried the soggy bagel from her hand, and tried to rake the cream cheese from her sticky strands of her, she grabbed a baby wipe. First, she wiped the cream cheese off the table, sort of. Then she used that same wipe to clean her mouth, pretending to blow her nose in it (she blows, but out of her mouth, not to her nose). After generously offering her used wipe to the woman at the table next to us, who shockingly refused, she lifted her shirt high and began to swab at her (perfectly clean until then) belly button.

Life with a toddler. Ah. It's joyous, miraculous, entertaining, beautiful, and occasionally... completely exhausting.

I mean, it could be so much worse. She's a pretty easy going toddler. She's active but not crazy. I can easily have a conversation with a friend while Calliope is around... as long as we are in a toddler friendly environment.

But the cumulative effect of battling to hold her down to change her diaper (while she thrashes, usually while laughing and not crying, so that's lucky), of telling her it's time to get dressed/put on her coat/changer her diaper only to have her run, giggling, the opposite direction, of telling her "let's go to your room" only to have her veer off in the opposite direction, to ask her to get A book from the bookshelves to read on the potty only to have her fling EVERY book onto the floor... sometimes it's tiring.

Hence the lunch in the coffee shop. At least she's contained in a high chair, and the cream cheese smeared on the front window of the cafe is someone else's responsibility (I'm sorry! I did my best to get off as much as I could!).

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Picky Eater and New Workout Time

Munching on seaweed

This picture shows Calliope at the end of her dinner. Dinner included: penne with melted cheese (a first for her), a hot dog (organic beef and chicken blend) in a whole wheat bun (apart from sharing one at a street fair in October, she just tried this for the first time a couple of days ago), and Bosc pear (new to her yesterday).

Way to go, my newly adventurous eater! She looks significantly bigger and more solid, and even has a little belly. I'm very pleased.

Now that she's feeling more adventurous, I will try to gradually steer her towards foods that are slightly more like "real food" and less like "kid food" so that, ideally, we can eat the same foods. I read a suggestion to give two "safe" foods per meal, things you know your child likes, plus one unfamiliar one. That sounds like a good game plan. I may try adding a little ground beef or Bolognese sauce to the penne with melted cheese. That plus some peas would be a pretty balanced meal. The nanny gave her three different vegetables at lunch -- she's usually pretty good at eating them, even at her pickiest -- so I didn't give any for dinner. I will ask the nanny to just give one at lunch so we can keep rotating them to avoid boredom.

In other news, tonight was my first post-work (and post Calliope's bedtime) workout. It seemed like it was going pretty well... until I suddenly hit the wall, forty-five minutes in (I had about twenty minutes left). I didn't feel hungry, exactly, though the idea of those gummy "fruit snacks" sounded incredibly enticing (not something I typically eat), as did anything with melted cheese. I compromised and made wassa-type turkey/apple/melted cheddar open face sandwiches in the toaster. A new recipe -- I'd be craving something that involved melted cheese.

Anyway, I like how I feel now, except that I am still craving carbs (and I had a Cliff bar, which I never eat, either), plus I'm really tired. So I'm not sure the evening workout thing is a win. It's a lot to add to the end of the day. Even with slugging down some decaf chai tea with heavy cream while Calliope ate dinner. I sure wish there was some way to maintain the mid-day workout. But with only a one hour break (and working in a public school), I don't see any way that it can be done.

Well, bravo to me for trying, anyway. I was very focused all day on psyching myself up for this, and I did it. Well, I did 45 minutes of it. Now if only I had some candy in the house... (If this is what evening workouts do to me, no thanks!)