... And I'm going to go for it!
I think my mom's illness, and especially her difficult recovery from surgery, has crystallized things for me. In two ways.
The first: I'm so grateful not to be enduring her illness alone. Maybe that's a terrible reason, but I'm very grateful to have siblings who share (more than their fair share nowadays) the burden. Not just the work, but the worry.
The second, and better reason: I realized, thinking about her mortality, that when I imagine looking back at my life from an older age, having a child is the very best thing I've ever done. Nothing else comes close. Calliope brings me unspeakable joy.
How can I not want to experience this one more time?
Another blogger wrote about her decision not to have a second child, and I completely respect her choice, and her reasons behind it. Namely that she can't be a good parent to her first child if she doesn't have time to herself.
I worry about this, also.
I wonder how much my decision is influenced by the fact that Calliope is an excellent sleeper. I can't bear to share the exact details, for fear of jinxing myself, but suffice it to say, I'm very lucky.
Then, too, my job has good work:life balance. I'm savoring the delicious flavor of summer vacation right now, rolling it around on my tongue. Camp was hard and not at all fun, but now that that job is over... oh, life is grand.
True, I'm a little bored at work. But work will never hold a candle to life with a small child, so I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't want to be absorbed and delighted by work just now. I want a consistent paycheck, work that is moderately engaging, and to work as few hours as possible. Unfortunately for me, that is still full time... but with lots of vacation time.
I know I'm supremely lucky, and I'm counting on that luck to continue with a second child. Which is probably a foolish assumption. But I believe that whatever happens, I will rejoice in a second child as I rejoice in my first. And I will find a way to make it work.
Yay, congrats, very exciting!!
ReplyDeleteI hear you, and congrats! I think facing an ill parent (or even an aging parent) alone is reason enough to want a sibling - like you I don't know what I'd do if I had to deal with my mother's issues without my sister; it definitely made me want B to have someone else in this family other than just me. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteCongrats! One thing really nice about having twins as that decision was made for me.
ReplyDeleteYay!! So exciting! When do you think you will start trying?
ReplyDeleteSo exciting! I agree having siblings is helpful and usually wonderful! I feel like I still have time to make that decision, since B is only 3 months.
ReplyDeleteI so want my son to have a sibling, but the cost of daycare for two will do me in! (It's sad that that is the only reason for not having a second... I'd have three if I could afford them.) I struggle with this every day. In some respects I want a second more than my first which sounds strange. I think it's because I was so scared about doing this on my own and not knowing what to expect. Now I know I can easily handle two. : (
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Abby! I didn't have a sibling until I was 13, and I can honestly say my life wouldn't be the same without him!
ReplyDeleteCongrats - I would have loved a sibling - and so am determined that my daughter will have one - if only as someone to share the memories with - good and bad!
ReplyDeleteAbby, I'm so excited for you! I saw your post on the SMC boards (I lurk there more than I post) and was hoping you'd blog, too. There are pros and cons to T42, just like there are pros and cons for having only one - it ultimately comes down to which pros outweigh which cons for you.
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you to start this next step in your journey! :)
Awesome! I'm very excited for you! I hope you have an easy, quick journey to #2, whenever you decide to start trying.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'd love to see you when I'm in NY... I'll try to get in touch on the Forum one of these days!
Yay! I really hope you get lucky with baby two.
ReplyDeleteSo exciting! I had 5 siblings and can't imagine an only child. I worry about Annelise being an only child, it seems so quiet and boring. But I don't think two is in the cards for me. Good luck! Hopefully it's an easy journey.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for you! It will be different the second time around but just as special. Best wishes on this journey!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the decision!! As one person commented on my blog, no matter if you have one or two or more, it is all good; your family just takes on a different shape. My fingers are crossed you get another good sleeper!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome ! Good luck! I want a second child at least in part for the same reasons. Your little one will be a great big sister.
ReplyDeleteSo excited for both you and C! Looking forward to following your journey both here and on the forum.
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