Twenty Months (Nineteen Month Recap)

Thrilled by the approach of the train (subway)

Nineteen months seemed somehow easier than eighteen. Fewer tantrums and power struggles, thankfully. 

I'm reading Happiest Toddler on the Block right now (thanks to Shannon for the suggestion), and it has some interesting ideas. The most well known, of course, is using "toddlerese" to echo what your child is feeling, to put words to their emotions to quell the tantrum. I tried it yesterday, when Calliope was throwing a fit over the idea of teeth brushing.

"Calliope mad! Mad mad mad! Calliope no want to brush teeth! Mad!"

She stopped mid-sob and looked up at me curiously. Tantrum over. 

I had to stifle a giggle halfway through my "tirade" because it felt so ridiculous, but still, the logic makes sense to me -- if I can name her emotions and make her feel "heard," she won't be so frustrated. 

And then I can brush her teeth a lot more easily. Win win.

Next up, pillow talk (my name and version of his idea). Talking with Calliope about three things that went well that day -- ideally a mix of things that were fun and things that she did well, like cooperating or listening, that I want to praise. I love this idea because I think it's a great habit to build into her childhood. I'd love to do this every night for years to come.

Tonight was our first attempt. I cradled her against me in the big chair in her room after reading her two stories, and I asked, "what were three great things about today?"

She sucked her thumb and leaned her head against my chest as she looked at me.

I realized I didn't really know all that much about the ins and outs of her day. Oh well.

"Well, you went to the library with Nastya and Ellie today. I bet that was really fun. And then you went for a walk this afternoon with Nastya and Ellie, and you pushed the doll stroller."

"Ellie?" she querried.

"Yes, with Ellie. And then you came home and you had mushroom tortellini for the first time, and you had a lot of fun peeling off all the pasta 'wrappers' before you ate them."

That felt like a good first attempt. I love the idea of her "already" always remembering doing this. Like already knowing her conception story, by the time she's old enough to understand what it is. (Right now, because it has a picture of Mommy on a horse, in her pre-baby life, Calliope thinks it's a story about horses. Because every book is about animals, in her view, these days.)

Next, I'm going to try the technique of "gossiping" to Calliope's toys when she does a good job of listening or cooperating. This feels a little ridiculous, also, so I'm building up to it.

Mostly, though, her disposition is quite sunny, despite her becoming more "determined" at times.

Taking a breather at the playground

So glad they made this little "seat" for me (aka footstool for the water fountain)

No problem climbing onto and off of park benches and couches!

Calliope doing squats, just like Mommy

Her language development continues to explode. I've stopped keeping a list, but I'm sure she's well over a hundred words now. Yesterday, apropos of nothing, she would say "toes" or "knee" and point to the appropriate body part. Two word "sentences" are still few and far between, though.

Sadly, she just started calling me "Mommy" instead of "Money." But Grammy is still called "Hello?" with her hand to her ear. 

She's obsessed with the squirrel that visits our fire escape (outside our kitchen window), and after spying it, will spend the rest of the meal asking "'Ko? 'Ko?" (That's "squirrel" for the uninitiated.) Seeing a dog outside on one of our many walks is a huge thrill. She also loves locating animals in her books. She seemed to think that her new book "Once Upon a Potty" was a book about a cat, because we could never get more than a page past the one that asks if the potty was "a milk bowl for the cat"? I would flip to the next page, start reading, and she would interrupt with "Meow? Meow?" and we'd have to go back and look at the cat again. Ad nauseum. Same with her other new favorite book, Snow, which she naturally calls "'No?" There's a page with a horse pulling a sleigh, and as soon as I flip to the next page, she asking, "Neigh? Neigh?" 

Makes for wearisome reading, sometimes! 

She also loves Llama Llama Red Pajama, which she calls, of course "Mama." Double L's are hard for toddlers, it seems. 

She hasn't nursed in ten days. She asked for "neh neh" this morning but was easily distracted with a muffin -- I'm still trying to bake pre-breakfast snacks for her. Her eating has definitely improved of late -- perhaps she's hungrier now that she's not nursing? She feels heavier, too. Last week, she ate several bites of turkey burger for the first time. And tasted rotisserie chicken -- this time I tried offering a wing and a drumstick instead of cut up breast meat -- realizing that the more interesting "delivery" system would make it more intriguing to her. She was definitely interested. She kept mouthing the knobby end of the drumstick, despite my best efforts to steer her to the business end. 

She's sort of running now. It's awkward and stifled, but she definitely has a faster speed now. It's so interesting to me that other kids started running practically as soon as she could walk, but she waited months and months to start. 

Running, kind of.

Her doll stroller was the best $16 investment ever. It makes her much less liable to wander off or stop when we go for walks, like it gives her a sense of purpose. When we get to the playground, she abandons it and then other kids are thrilled to take a turn with it.

Showing Baby Annie the sights... I'm so grateful for this lovely walking path right outside our building

I've decided to buy her a three-wheeled scooter for an early birthday present, in June, because she's fascinated by them at the playground. A friend just turned me on to the fact that you can buy a kit for a scooter so that it has a seat and a "O" shaped handle bar. You can even buy a strap to tow it. I can't wait to see her face when she gets it. This will be a distraction present when we go up to the summer camp on weekends in mid-June and I have to leave her with a brand new babysitter.

Her hair is coming in fast and furious, which I'm enjoying. I love putting it into admittedly puny ponytails. I never expected to have a child with fine, straight, light colored hair... I'm so curious to see if it stays like this.

I was just looking through my picture files at work to see if I'd missed anything...

One year ago today! 

Hanging In

Tomorrow will be a week since Calliope nursed.

This morning, she was asking for "neh neh" again for the first time in days, but I decided to buckle down and stay the course. If weaning is, indeed, making me feel out of sorts... then I want this process to be over.

The nanny offered Calliope a bit of rice cake with cream cheese instead, and the requests for nursing disappeared. Phew.

I tried on a pre-pregnancy bra today, a non-nursing one. It looked positively diminutive and dainty (I assure you it's not) in comparison to my now-baggy nursing bras (they've been baggy for many months, even when I was nursing full time, but the replacement ones never fit right). And yet... it fit!

The rest of my body... eh. Seems like maybe my metabolism slowed down. Again. This is very, very discouraging.

Mostly, though, my mood is getting better but I'm tired a lot. I can't figure it out. I've been going to bed early every night lately. I'm usually fine in the morning, but by mid-afternoon, my energy is flagging.

I'm usually a high energy person so I don't know what to make of it. Could I be depressed without realizing it?

I have to get a physical done next week as I have paperwork to be completed (by the doctor) for my summer job. Turns out it's been three years since I've had a physical. Oops. So I will discuss this with him and see what he has to say.

I'm also... although I don't really feel depressed, I do feel a little off. This is the first time since I got pregnant that I don't feel like I'm positively teeming with happiness.

I get it that overflowing with happiness is not a state that most people get to exist in permanently... But I was enjoying it.

For now, I'm trying to just hang on, to give this weaning process time to sort itself out, hoping that things will start to feel great again soon.

Enjoying Calliope

Impromptu cuddle in the big chair

There's no "I" in team

I met the nanny and the two girls at the playground after work today.

As I peered through the wrought iron gate and the crowded scene by the toddler climbing structure, I spied Calliope. She didn't see me , but was intently watching another toddler as his mother spoke to him -- fascinated but with a half smile on her face, as if waiting to be let in on a joke.

She was wearing an unfamiliar dress -- the nanny dressed her this morning, in a hand me down I didn't remember -- and perhaps that, plus seeing her amongst all these other little children, made her stand out. She seemed impossibly small compared to the older and sturdier toddlers. And she just radiated beauty. It was as if there was a golden halo around her, and everyone around her faded in comparison. The sun reflected off her hair, her clear skin glowed. She just shone so brightly.

I reckon this is the quintessential experience of motherhood. Seeing your child as your own personal Jesus, golden halo and all... at least until your child spies you.

In my child's case, she saw me, her eyes lit up... and she whirled around and toddled away as fast as her short legs could carry her. There's nothing like running away to say "I love you too, Mommy."

Other loving moments:

She now calls me "Money!"

This is both apt and ironic on so many levels. Of course I am completely bankrolling her. And of course, I feel pretty darn broke. Or at least, so far from affluent that I'm certainly not deserving of such a nickname.

She likes to repeat it over and over.

"Money!"

"Yes."

"Money!"

"Yes."

Her and her Big Sister Friend, Annabelle, like to play a game where Annabelle tries to say "Money!" at the exact same time that Calliope does. Every time she does, Calliope breaks into uproarious laughter.

She also calls me by my first name sometimes. I never really know how to react to that, but generally answer. I mean, it is my name, right?

Playing with her new-to-her trains. Note the drool of concentration.

Meanwhile, my daughter's special nickname for my mother?

It's "Hello?" with one hand pressed to her ear in the universal sign for a cell phone.

And finally, Calliope used to like to stand in front of me and slap both of my cheeks at the same time. Not meanly, she just liked the sound.

Whenever she did this, I would grab her hands and place them gently on my cheeks, and say, "Gentle. Gentle touch."

Now she stands in front of me and gently, lovingly, passionately strokes my cheeks as she gazes into my eyes. It's very Harlequin Romance.

Postscript: someone on the SMC Forum asked if she still has a mullet. So glad she asked!

Work in front (aka her hair is pretty short in front and on the sides)

... But a party in the back! Just look at that skinny ponytail!

The mullet reigns!

Little Snippets of Nothing in Particular (19 Months) -- Photos Added!

We had a quiet, restorative weekend.

On Saturday, we spent the morning with Calliope's favorite five year old, our downstairs neighbor Annabelle, so that Annabelle's mom could get their apartment ready for Annabelle's birthday party. Calliope was thrilled to have so much time with her idol. And then to sit on a Big Girl chair instead of a high chair... wow!

Annabelle was very patient as we alternated letting Calliope walk instead of ride in the stroller. I'm a devout believer in the importance of exercise, for children as well as adults. But Calliope lacks, shall we say, the ability to walk in a straight, continuous line.

Bringing the doll stroller for her to push helps, for a while. Then she sees some enticing stairs to climb, or trash to pick up, or a gate to cling to and peer through... and then our progress screechs to a halt once again.

After lunch and a nap for Calliope -- a lovely long one -- we went to Annabelle's birthday party. It was a bit overwhelming for me at times, the noise, and I fear this doesn't bode well for my future. I didn't use to be so sensitive to noise; something seemed to change around the time I got pregnant, I think. But now, loud commotions completely overwhelm me and I feel a desperate need to escape. Thank goodness there were none of those loud honking birthday things -- you know, the ones that you blow into and it makes a loud screeching noise?  I loved them when I was a kid and now they make me want to run and hide.

Anyone else have a change in their sound sensitivity like this? It really feels unbearable.

And then today, Calliope played quietly on the kitchen floor for more than a half an hour while I sipped hot tea and checked my email via Ipad. I can't sit at my computer without her wanting to "help" by typing on the keyboard and move my mouse around... but I guess because she's so rarely used the Ipad (only a few times on Amtrak), she seems to not know what it's for. And thus, I got some rare down time for me while she was awake. I was exceedingly grateful. Some weekend days it's hard to just be 100% "on" from the moment I wake up until naptime at 1 pm. I can't imagine what it will be like when she stops napping -- I'm trying not to think about it! She's always played independently very well, but allowing me to do what I want to do isn't always as easy for her.

After breakfast (or round three of breakfast, for her), we went to the playground and farmer's market and saw a couple of friends. Then back home to make banana muffins together -- lots of fun and tasty to boot. They are gluten free and sweetened only with stevia and dates, plus bananas, of course. Next time I might try skipping the stevia. I am, as another friend claimed to be, "Paleo curious." I'm not really trying to avoid gluten right now, but I'm intrigued by the concept. Anyway, they came out great! I used almond flour by mistake instead of coconut, but they're amazingly sweet and tender and delicious. Perhaps a little more moist than they are supposed to be because of the almond flour. Regardless, I recommend them, Paleo Curious or not!

I left out the walnuts. http://www.elanaspantry.com/banana-walnut-muffins/

She really liked setting out all the muffin liners, then stacking them again. 

I have these awesome silicone ones that are easy to clean and don't require cooking spray nor a muffin tin -- win!

After naptime, another long one, we went for our second walk of the day. We wandered by a playground for a few minutes, but mostly what Calliope wanted to practice was stairs -- for the first time, she managed to go up and down without crawling! She was very, very proud and it was very, very difficult to get her to leave her favorite stairs. At one point we had finally left and were half a block away when she suddenly wheeled around and headed back. They were just that fun.

Look Ma, no crawling!

Very proud of climbing onto this little "stool" at the playground.

It took a while, but she eventually figured out how to get herself 

into a seated position, to boot.

When we got home, we tried making kale chips for the first time. She loved washing the kale with the salad spinner and did a great job helping me tear the kale into bite size pieces. And tossing kale with olive oil and salt -- how much fun can a girl hope to have? This was a great project to do with a toddler!

I've been hearing about how amazing kale chips are for quite a while now. Calliope and I agree -- they're pretty amazing! And ridiculously easy!

Just tear kale into bite size pieces and discard the thick stemps. Wash and dry the kale very well. Toss pieces of kale with olive oil and salt on a parchment-lined cookie sheet (parchment not required but makes for an easy clean up). Bake for 25-30 minutes at 300 degrees. Voila! Crunchy, salty, delicious perfection!

Calliope loved her first exposure to kale. I don't know why she insisted on eating it with a fork, and also, why she wanted to use my enormous fork instead of her own.

Delicious kale chips -- giant fork not required

I also made a beautiful grassfed steak, and she gobbled up a nice little portion -- maybe about 6 bites. And ate slice after slice yellow bell pepper -- she would mainline bell peppers if she could -- and a slice of pear to finish things off.

Now that she's looking a little more sturdy -- not really chubby, but she's got a little belly and some nice padding on her limbs, though she still doesn't feel all that heavy -- I'm hoping we can back off of processed foods a little bit. Not that she ever ate a lot of it, but her cracker consumption had steadily climbed for a while. I'm glad to see that crackers don't hold the same allure as they once did. Honey, however, is her new favorite food. I figure that a little honey mixed into her peanut butter and spread onto a whole wheat english muffin seems pretty reasonable as a breakfast option.

Feeling Better Already

It seems like admitting to the universe that things weren't feeling all that great, alongside being proactive in doing the things that usually cheer me up... seems to have worked.

Today is day five of better eating, and finally, that barge seems to be turning around. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but the quality of my eating had been gradually falling off for a while, with predictable results. I hope I can do a better job from here on out.

After spending much of Monday and Tuesday (my last two days of spring "break") working feverishly on Big Life Tasks (filing taxes, investigating 529 plans, cleaning off my slovenly desk), I felt caught up enough to participate in an SMC Forum thread for project support. Each member posts a brag of three things she accomplished yesterday and three things she hopes to accomplish today.

Last night I was really annoyed with the stupid post I shared, my first, because I just wanted to go to bed, dammit, and not to have to finish unpacking that stupid suitcase. But, sigh, I had committed, so I unpacked the stupid suitcase before going to bed.

Getting those Big Life Errands done was no fun, but feeling that lightness of being from not having them over me is blissful. And I know that having a clean apartment always cheers me up, but it certainly takes a lot of energy to start cleaning when I'm already down.

So it was great to wake up this morning to a clean and organized apartment, taxes paid, files emptied of last year's bills, desk cleared, hall table tidy. Best of all, I set my alarm sufficiently early to allow myself to hit the snooze button once and still have plenty of time for a workout.

I realized that I'd been compromising my workouts quite a bit. I was using my laptop for the DVD, and often I had to wait for it to power up... and then, since the laptop was on anyway, might as well take a quick glance at email... and then see if there were any new and interesting updates on Facebook... and suddenly I only had time for half a workout.

So today I used my DVD player and TV set, which meant no opportunities for wasted time on Facebook and email. And I stayed focused throughout my workout, and pushed hard.

I'm now on the eighth and final "official" level of Rip 60 (there's an unofficial Level 9, plus some supplemental DVDs to try), but I think I'm ready to try something different.

I tried out my cousin's Insanity workouts twice last week. They were, yes, insanely challenging. But do-able, I think. I couldn't do 100% of them, but I was pretty pleased with how much I could do. I was thinking of buying the workout but then another SMC recommended something called Turbo Jam, from the same company that produces Insanity. She said she liked the moves a lot better than all the jumping and squats of Insanity, and claimed that it was actually fun, like dancing. I looked it up on Amazon and it looks like a very intense cardio kickboxing routine. I have no coordination whatsoever, but who knows, maybe I will learn some from this workout! In any event, it was available in "Very Good Used Condition" for all of $15. So I'm excited to see where this takes me. I'm looking forward to doing something that involves fewer stops and starts to adjust equipment. I plan to keep doing Rip 60 2-3 days a week and will add this new series of workouts in to mix things up a bit.

I'm also doing my best to get to bed earlier. It's ironic how much it helps my overall happiness to be well rested, and it's such a challenge to actually get myself to bed. The more tired I am, the harder it is to struggle against inertia and move myself out of my chair and into my bed. There's just so many steps in between!

I've done a little better the last couple of nights, and while I'm still feeling tired, I sense an improvement there, too.

Calliope is feeling better, too. She had a cold with fever for several days, poor nugget, and was mostly okay but eating poorly and a basket case when she got tired. Yesterday she completely lost her sh*t during dinner, and couldn't stop sobbing. I sponged yogurt off her face, brushed her teeth, took her out of the high chair, changed her diaper, and put her in PJs and sleep sack, all while she cried. Finally, after rocking her for a good five minutes, she suddenly lifted her wet face from my sodden shoulder and asked "kirl?"

We looked out the window and I explained that the squirrel had gone bye-bye.

Sadly she nestled against my shoulder again, and shook her head no when I offered stories. So straight into the crib she went, where she cried again and we had round two of bedtime singing and rocking. Then off to sleep. Twelve and a half hours later, she woke up good as new, save an occasional junky cough. Phew.

I've got an action packed couple of evenings, with interviews and meetings, and then am very much looking forward to a mostly unplanned weekend.

Foundering in the Doldrums

Proudly carrying $0.56 worth of grapes home from the fruit stand

I'm struggling just a teeny bit. Nothing too serious. I just feel a little off, a little bit not myself.

I suspect it's the hormonal shift from weaning (still not entirely a done deal -- we were down to once every three days and then she got sick and the frequency has increased again). And probably not enough sleep -- somehow I started out getting lots of sleep on spring break, and then started staying up later and later.

So I'm not sweating it too much. I'm trying to just wait it out. Trying to take a step back and comment to myself, "Hmm, I notice I'm feeling really irritable right now."

Just identifying the emotion seems to really help me. Staying away from the why of the emotion is key -- once I get sucked into "I'm feeling really irritable because she said that one thing to me that was really unjust and here's what I should've said in response..." I'm doomed to be way more stressed.

So I'm trying to just stay present. And also to get more sleep.

Still, I'm looking forward to feeling more cheerful again. To enjoying my time with Calliope more. To feeling more engaged at work. To being more excited to work out.

I just spent twelve whole days entirely with Calliope, except for the few hours that my cousin watched her so I could interview a surgeon with my mother words. In other words, I didn't get much of a break. But then on the second to last day of "break," the babysitter took her to the zoo so I could do some work at home. Which was heavenly. And I feel guilty about admitting that.

The picture above shows our adventure to the fruit stand, which we took to kill time while waiting for the laundry. Laundry which didn't need doing, if only I had remembered when the cleaning lady was coming, and planned accordingly. Regardless, we put the laundry in the washer, then went to CVS, where Calliope attempted to remove products from shelves as fast as she could until I scooped her up and pinned her wriggling self to my hip. Always a fun experience. Then we stopped at the fruit stand and bought grapes at her request. Well, sort of. She saw them and pointed and said "Gapes!" And I thought, "sure, why not?"

She started out pushing the grapes in the doll stroller. Every few feet she would stop to open the grocery bag, then the clear plastic bag inside that, peering with concern at the grapes, making sure they were still there. Not satisfied with the visual input she was receiving, she would then stick her hand in the bag to root around and further confirm the continued existence of the grapes.

We had made at least three such stops, roughly every ten feet, when she decided that both the external shopping bag and the stroller were no longer suitable for ensuring the safety of the grapes. She abandoned both and started carrying the clear plastic bag of grapes (shown above) by the very top of the bag, so the bottom was just barely skimming the ground. She continued to stop every few feet to peer into the bag, then fondle the grapes.

We finally, finally made it back to the our building (roughly one short block away from the fruit stand) and returned to the laundry room. I set her and the grapes on a chair to keep her from running away (her new favorite activity -- escaping from Mommy!) while I transferred the wet laundry to the dryer. I had only had my back turned a few seconds when out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move.

On closer inspection, I saw that something was not a mouse but, you guessed it, a single red grape that had rolled across the floor.

I wheeled around and shouted, "NO!!! Oh, Calliope!"

After all that focused care of the grapes, she had turned the bag upside down and dumped the grapes all over that grotty laundry room floor.

Ugh.

I hurriedly scooped them up. They got an extra good washing in my kitchen. You didn't think I would throw them away, did you? And risk another trip to the fruit stand?

Perish the thought.

I'm also having a childcare quandary. The synopsis being: nanny is pregnant. I need a new childcare scheme for next year. The tentative plan is to get a new nanny and to continue the nanny share and also to start participating in a preschool co-op (hosted in my apartment, so very low cost). But we visited a daycare that is literally next door to me and seemed surprisingly nice, especially considering it's only $650 a month.

This is a shockingly low price tag for much of NYC. There's very expensive daycare here and also very, very cheap options.

I'm trying to figure out if I would be a bad mother to send my child there.

The savings would be oh so welcome. I'm slowly but surely burning through my savings right now, despite all attempts to live an austere life. And even one year at a lower price would help, even if I opted to splurge on a nicer preschool when she's three and perhaps slightly more in need of an actual curriculum?

I don't know how to make this decision.

Nineteen Months (End of Eighteen Months), or Welcome to Almost Two

A switch has been flipped, and I can see the glimmers of a two year old on the horizon.

Calliope's new favorite habit is to scream. Loudly. (In case there was some other way to scream.) For no apparent reason besides the pleasure of hearing her voice. At full volume.

It's possible that this behavior drives me just a teensy bit crazy.

A somewhat more pleasant new habit goes as follows.

"Mah-ee?"

"Yes, love?"

"Yessss."

Moments pass.

"Mah-ee?"

"Yes, love?"

"Yessss."

I guess she's enjoying the fact that it's like clockwork -- she call "Mah-ee" and I always answer! And always in the affirmative! So predictable, and so, so awesome.

She's becoming much more opinionated about what we do. As soon as I lie her down to change her diaper, she cries for the potty.

But she taught me a new trick yesterday -- she pulled a folding changing pad out from under the wire shelves and carefully unfolded it before lying down on it. So now if I want to change her, all I have to do is ask her to unfold the changing pad for me. Of course, she always lies down in the wrong direction, with her feet pointing away from me, and her head towards me. Oh well.

It's amazing how engaging her in any task, particularly asking for her help, produces instant cooperation. In the mornings, as I come into her room, I ask her to turn on the light -- she can reach it from her crib, but so far, has only once thought to turn on the lights without me -- and the responsibility of that "task" allows the day to start extra joyfully.

She still sits on the potty, very happily, and still, almost never produces anything on it.

A very exciting development, though, is that she's pretty much weaned!

She last nursed yesterday morning. The last time before that was four days prior. It's been lovely to forge a path together that didn't require us to go cold turkey. Yesterday morning I let her get too hungry, and she asked several times, rather desperately. It felt wonderful to be able to simply say yes. And melt into the glider together for a few minutes.

And if that was the last time, at nineteen months and four days, great. And if it wasn't quite, that's fine too.

I was so very nervous about her being bereft to be deprived of her beloved neh-neh, but it was much easier than I feared.

I switched up the night time routine -- offering a bedtime snack on the couch for a few days, and now, a simple return to the highchair after putting on her pajamas (she often eats very little for dinner, so it's more like we interrupted dinner to get changed than a separate meal and then snack). After her snack, we brush her teeth and then we read a couple of stories. At first, we read on the couch in the living room, since I was nervous about nursing associations with her room. But tonight we read on the floor in her room and she still didn't ask to nurse. I am not quite brave enough to risk reading in the big chair in her room just yet, but after we get back from our upcoming trip to Boston, I think it will be safe for reading again.

In the mornings, I just scoop her up and bring her into the kitchen for a pre-breakfast snack before getting her dressed. If I don't do that, she quickly becomes famished, and the requests for nursing begin. Today, since we had to leave extra early, I just brought a banana into her room, and that worked fine as well. Once she's eaten something, she's cheerful and ready to play (and not so snuggly) and doesn't think to ask.

Perhaps related, and perhaps not, Calliope has grown very attached to Baby Annie, the potty-training-doll-we-don't-use-for-potty-training (the "wetting" makes a giant mess). Yesterday, I sent Calliope into the living room when she was searching for the doll. She stood in the middle of the living room, calling out forlornly, "Annie? Annie?"

I'm not sure if she expects Annie to answer or if she's just communicating to me her rather heroic efforts at finding Annie (and warning me that a toddler meltdown is imminent).

Goodness, these little people have short fuses some times!

Calliope is learning new words all the time, and has a couple more sentences. Her most frequent one is, not very lyrically, "had poop." (Only it sounds like "ha poop.") Because I always comment, "You had a poop in your diaper.)

She also sometimes says "Hi Ba" or "Bye Elle." I suppose these count as sentences?

But the funniest one is actually four whole words long. The sentence is "No, I do it." Great emphasis on the "I."

What's funny about this sentence is that it gets repeated constantly, out of context, without her appearing to have any idea what it means.

It's like she's cramming for her two year old year, and has memorized the material but didn't stop to learn what it actually meant.

Another amusing tidbit: I try not to tell her she looks cute, or pretty, because, I don't know, these seem very girly and not good, somehow. Like they place undue emphasis on her appearance, I guess.

So instead, I say "wow" or "you look nice."

So the other day, getting her dressed for a St. Patrick's day dinner party, I put a dress on her, and said, "Turn around Calliope, so I can see how you look."

And of course, she turned around, rubbed her belly contentedly, and said, very admiringly, "Wow. Niiiiiiiice" in a very-Borat like voice.

She saw a picture of a rooster in a book, and said "cuckoo!" a pretty impressive imitation of cock-a-doodle doo. She says "whoa!" now when she trips. It cracks me up to hear my own sounds coming out of her mouth like this, as I didn't even know I said this until she nearly fell and I, indeed, said "Whoa!"

She thinks all plants are called "gentle" because of how many times she's been admonished to be "gentle!" with the plant when she stands on the windowsill to look out the window -- a favorite activity of hers lately. She asks, over and over, "doh?" so that someone will lift her up and stand there with her while she gazes happily outside. It makes sense that she likes looking out on busy Ocean Parkway, with its many lanes of traffic, but it's a bit more puzzling that she's equally as fond of looking out the interior-facing windows in her bedroom.

Seeing a squirrel on the fire escape was probably our most exciting window experience -- Calliope asked "Squirrel?" many, many times afterwards, until finally her four year old hero, "Bah!" came over to visit.

Peanut butter, somewhat sadly, is now called "buttr" instead of "mah", but banana is still "dada" and orange (the fruit, not the color) is still "ish." And Calliope seems to think that I drink "teeth" in my insulated travel mug (she not only says teeth, but points to her teeth as she says it). Mango sounds rather like "yum yum." Bib is "bee-yobe." Avocado has gone, inexplicably, from "ava" to now being called "hawa." I'm glad this language development thing is not an entirely forward progression.