Tomorrow will be a week since Calliope nursed.
This morning, she was asking for "neh neh" again for the first time in days, but I decided to buckle down and stay the course. If weaning is, indeed, making me feel out of sorts... then I want this process to be over.
The nanny offered Calliope a bit of rice cake with cream cheese instead, and the requests for nursing disappeared. Phew.
I tried on a pre-pregnancy bra today, a non-nursing one. It looked positively diminutive and dainty (I assure you it's not) in comparison to my now-baggy nursing bras (they've been baggy for many months, even when I was nursing full time, but the replacement ones never fit right). And yet... it fit!
The rest of my body... eh. Seems like maybe my metabolism slowed down. Again. This is very, very discouraging.
Mostly, though, my mood is getting better but I'm tired a lot. I can't figure it out. I've been going to bed early every night lately. I'm usually fine in the morning, but by mid-afternoon, my energy is flagging.
I'm usually a high energy person so I don't know what to make of it. Could I be depressed without realizing it?
I have to get a physical done next week as I have paperwork to be completed (by the doctor) for my summer job. Turns out it's been three years since I've had a physical. Oops. So I will discuss this with him and see what he has to say.
I'm also... although I don't really feel depressed, I do feel a little off. This is the first time since I got pregnant that I don't feel like I'm positively teeming with happiness.
I get it that overflowing with happiness is not a state that most people get to exist in permanently... But I was enjoying it.
For now, I'm trying to just hang on, to give this weaning process time to sort itself out, hoping that things will start to feel great again soon.