Great News!

My mom had her halfway-through-chemotherapy CT scan on Wednesday. She was supposed to get the results next week -- my sister flew up from FL to be there for the appointment, my brother was going to join them, and I was going to "be there" by way of speaker phone.

But the doctor called my mom two days after the scan and told her... The tumor has shrunk by 30% and her lymph nodes are no longer enlarged!!!

The chemotherapy is working!!!

This is fabulous news especially because they had told us that if the lymph nodes hadn't shrunk by now, they wouldn't consider surgery after she finishes chemo.. they would consider the "treatment" at that point to be palliative. Instead, since her nodes appear clear, she "gets" to have surgery because we are working towards an outright cure!!!

All very wonderful news!!!

But it felt a bit strange because my mom sent me this unexpected news via text message, at the end of my busy day at work, juggling towering stacks of patient charts and my nurse practitioner student (you will no doubt be gratified to know that I know her name, at least).

So I dashed off a quick text response, "HOORAY!"

But that felt pretty lame, so I paused in my work and spoke to my mom briefly, and we spoke at greater length last night.

What feels strange, mostly, though, is that I was preparing to be anxious for next week's appointment... but I had put off this anxiety, mostly, to be dealt with this weekend. I know it sounds strange to say "I was planning to be anxious this weekend," but there it is.

So to have short circuited that is wonderful but also leaves me feeling a bit off balance. I wasn't as jubilant as I would've been because I hadn't experience the low yet, if that makes sense.

On top of that, Calliope and I had a wonderful trip to Boston last weekend (the train was a huge if exhausting success), but it was certainly a lot of work for a three day weekend. So I think I've been a bit off balance from that all week, despite getting a decent amount of rest.

So I'm feeling a little off kilter.

Today was a good day of self care and I'm hopefully finding my balance again with this relaxing Saturday, including brunch at my favorite local restaurant with a pregnant SMC who I've been hoping to meet for ages. Calliope was a pleasant dining companion to boot, so that was an extra special treat -- we last ate there for my birthday in October and it was quite a fiasco (think dishes being hurled to the floor and food littering the floor under two high chairs... and fishing the food off the floor to offer it again to the recalcitrant toddlers). Nice to think that maybe she's settling down a little in some respects. More on that in our 18 month update, currently in draft form.