Working on Me

We are back at home after four weeks on the road, and it's mostly lovely to be home. It's fantastic to sleep in my own amazing bed again. But living in my brother's big house makes me yearn for an actual house some day. Or really, just a bit more space -- a bedroom for each girl and common areas big enough that they don't need to be spotless to feel uncrowded.

It's late and I have so much to share so for tonight, just the news about me: I am (as always) a work in progress.

A few days before we went away, I decided to stop eating refined sugars. I've always been completely anti-diets, because they never make me lose weight and I get obsessed and unhappy. But I've been worried about my risk of developing type two diabetes for a while -- my hemoglobin A1C (which measures blood sugar over three months) was too close to pre diabetic levels for me to be happy the last time it was checked, pre-pregnancy. I couldn't really worry about it while pregnant and feeling sick so often (and not gaining weight), but now that I have my two amazing children, I'm more aware of my mortality. I want to stick around for a long, long time.

So it has been hard at times, but I gave up sugar. I remember reading on another blog (Runs for Cookies) that the author said the deal with motivation is that it's not about motivation. Motivation can wane. You have to just decide. So I did it. I just decided. In part, inspired by my friend Barbara who lost 68 pounds.

It's now been five weeks without sweets. Amazing, for me, at least! I really am surprised that I have been able to do it.

I had a small loophole for dark chocolate, which I love and which is supposed to have some health benefits. But I found I was eating more and more of it to compensate for cutting out sugar. So a week ago, I cut that out as well. And added a little decaf coffee (with cream) to make up for the missing caffeine that very dark chocolate adds to my life.

Success there as well!

No real change in weight but that is no surprise -- my body likes this weight, even if my brain wishes I was a touch smaller. Oh well.

I'm also doing physical therapy to strengthen my transversus abdomens (deep stomach muscles) because I have a separation in my abdominus rectus (another set of abdominal muscles). This entails doing tons of strengthening exercises plus focusing on sitting and standing up straight. It's a lot of work and slow going but I'm motivated since I realized my stiff back is due to stomach weakness... and since I realized that I am tipped forward like an old lady, and will remain like that if I don't do that work. But I am starting to see some small improvements in my posture, and it's getting a little easier to sit up straight, so that's encouraging.

Now to get myself to bed... another goal I'm working on, being more rested.