Sunday, December 13, 2015

Old Flame

Ages ago, a reader asked what happened with Old Flame. I didn't mean to be mysterious! About a year ago now (or was it two years ago? I guess it was, since it was before I was pregnant, and it was definitely in December), I sent him packing.

He was still too emotionally involved with his ex. Not surprising because the divorce still wasn't done at that point. I didn't want to listen to him rant about her. But also, he was just too... socially awkward? I wasn't sure if that was because he was distracted by the ongoing divorce process, or just a matter of his weird engineer self -- just not that great at [successfully] engaging with others. Even while he was very cognizant of the fact that "EQ" is important, and that engineers tend to lack it. But he was that weird awkward way with my friend at a running event, when I was not around, so it certainly wasn't about me. So the divorce situation was a good thing to blame it on. He texted me when the divorce was finalized, and said he regretted that it taking so long had precluded a future with us. I responded blandly without engaging. I don't miss him.

I can't imagine dating anyone right now. I have no energy to give another person. This time in my children's lives is short. I don't want to waste any of it. Not to say that I don't want to miss a minute. I'm fine with taking breaks for me! But I can't waste any on drama, or first dates, or fights with a significant other.

Someday, maybe, I'll meet someone who wants to go on adventures with me or us. Until then, my life is so full. I'm happy. I have no time to be lonely.


  1. I had to "lol" at the awkward engineer comment. We are!!

  2. I feel the same way. In my case I have married and done all that. Now I don't have the energy to think about men - drama, fights, dates as you put it so well!

  3. A (married) friend asked me recently if I date at all. I laughed. Said no, I'm focused on having a second baby, not on finding a husband. Dating is the furthest thing from my mind.

    I'm glad you're fulfilled with your children. Now there's no pressure in the husband department, right?!