All's Well

All is well with Calliope and me.

She continues to teeter on the edge of crawling. Three days ago, she surprised herself by moving from all fours to sitting... leading to an outburst of frightened tears. She's still nervous about this trick, and wouldn't perform this afternoon.

She's stronger and stronger on all fours, and is moving backwards ever more quickly, but still... no forward motion.

I decided that Calliope is waiting for my mom to arrive for her visit this weekend. She better not prove me wrong.

Swim class was a hit this week! Catherine generously gave us a ride, which was world's better than schlepping baby plus stroller plus diaper bag plus swim bag plus cooler bag on the bus... which was 20 minutes late. I also only brought the swim bag with me. I mean, with a nursing baby, you're never going to truly be out of food, right?

We had a different swim teacher this time and it was clear that last week's singing and blowing bubbles was all well and good for little babies, but now... it was time to get serious. We did prone kicking, kicking on the back, arm strokes, bubble blowing, popping up and down out of the water, flying through the water from instructor to Mommy... It was a lot. Calliope seemed to love it until the last few minutes, when I think she was just plain cold -- there was a problem with the pool heater -- and maybe a little worn out. But she actually voluntarily put her face in the water and tried to blow bubbles when she saw me doing it. That's my adventurous girl! Of course, the very wetness of the water when she put her face in scared her, but we will keep practicing.

Her latest development is to wake up earlier and earlier with each passing day. I've tried nursing her for just two minutes, or alternatively, giving her a full feeding, but either way, putting her back in the crib.

No dice.

She doesn't go back to sleep.

Because she's not waking up out of hunger.

This morning I woke up, at 5:35 am, god help me, to the sound of excited panting.

Girlie was rocking back and forth on her knees in her crib with a look of focus and pleasure.

I can't really complain about this.

She didn't cry at all until I pulled myself out of bed and went to the bathroom. You know, without her.

Then she wailed.

Because she was following the rules, staying in her crib and not crying.

But I was not.

Leaving her behind to go on fun adventures (and yes, the bathroom counts as fun -- I mean, there's toilet paper in there) is unacceptable.

I came back out and scooped her up and nursed her for two minutes, deposited her back in the crib, and lay back down in my bed.

She trilled and babbled for twenty minutes while I pretended to sleep.

The thing is, I was planning to get up at 5:45 anyway... but without company. So that I could exercise and shower before devoting myself to her.

Oh well.

So we went off to the living room to nurse and potty and change diapers and my girl was dressed and ready to face the world by 6:15 am.

Me, not so much.

As a result, she took two morning naps. And zero afternoon naps. She was awake from noon until 6:40 pm.

Surely this isn't good for her?

According to Weiss.bluth, early wakings mean that she needs an earlier bedtime, counterintuitively enough. But she seems so cheerful and happy and active. It's hard to convince myself to exert the effort to get her to bed earlier than her 6:30 bedtime. Because if she's tired, she does an amazing job of hiding it.

I think after my mom leaves on Sunday, I will move back to the living room for a little sleep-training-in-reverse, to teach her to sleep later in the mornings.

I'd be happy to keep her up later in the evenings, but she's so tired by 6:30. She drifts off to sleep while we are nursing every night, though she always wakes up when I put her in the crib. And then gets a huge goofy grins, drums her legs against the mattress, and thrashes enthusiastically until I leave the room. And then passes out again within five minutes.

I think we really need our own bedrooms. Sad as I will be to be further away from her. After my last post, I actually stole her from her crib and brought her into bed at night. Thirty minutes later, she started to toss and turn and cry, and I reluctantly returned her to the crib. Admitting to myself that I wasn't enjoying having her in my bed all that much, anyway.

Neither of us cuddle in our sleep. Okay, that's not true. She was fast asleep, but the one time in recent months that I tried to nap with her, she was good to press up against my side. I am not a sleep cuddler. Never have been. Even when we slept together when she was a newborn, we were on opposite sides of the bed. I don't trust myself to remember she's there, for one thing. At least once I actually swatted my newborn across the face. (She slept through it, to my amazement.)

I saw five different apartments last weekend, and hope to see some more this weekend. I'm thinking about one, in particular, that I saw. I wish the living room was a little bigger (wider, really), but in other respects, it's pretty good. The price is good. It's a little further from our nanny-share-people and the hot spot of our little neighborhood...but it's not terrible; it's still in walking distance. It has nice light, the second bedroom isn't ridiculously tiny, it has a brand new open kitchen and closets galore, it's on a nice side street... And I'm realizing that I could put my desk and my elliptical in my bedroom since Calliope won't be sleeping there... and that would open up the living room substantially. There's even a jungle gym thing in the little courtyard! For days when I want her to just burn off some steam, it sure would be nice to have an option that close.

I'm hoping to get a second look this weekend, with both my mom and my broker.

One thing about me: I don't "do" ambiguity very well. Once I've made a decision, I tend to move quickly.

I hope I don't screw up this Very Big Decision.