Thursday, December 18, 2014

Trying to Explain Marriage. And Talking About Daddies.

I explain to Calliope that we will be staying in a hotel in Mexico. She nods.

Me: Calliope and Mommy will stay together in our hotel room.

C: Will Eliana stay with her Mommy?

Me: No, Eliana will stay with her sister, Talia.

C, wide eyed and slightly aghast at the prospect of maternal separation: Why?

Me: Because Aunt J wants to stay with Uncle Jeff.

C: Why?

Me: Because married people usually like to sleep in the same bed.

C: Oh.

Me: Do you know what "married" means?

C: Yeah? (*She always says "yeah" but fails to answer when she doesn't know the answer to something.)

Me: People get married when two grown ups decide they want to spend their whole lives together. Sometimes it's a man and a woman, sometimes it's two women, and sometimes it's two men.

C, wide eyed: [So] Talia and Eliana are two womens [sic]?

Me, stifling laughter: No, Talia and Eliana are sisters. They can't get married. And also, they aren't grown up yet.

Me: So Aunt Jonquil and Uncle Jeff are married, and Uncle Nate and Aunt Sarah are married, and Seth and Amy are married. They aren't just mommies and daddies together. They want to spend their whole lives together.

C: We don't have a daddy.

Me: That's true.

C: We don't have one.

Me: Do you wish we had a daddy?

C: No. But we could be with one.

Me: You mean we could have a daddy visit? Like Seth visits?

C: Yeah! Or we could live with one!

Me: We could live with Amy and Seth?

C: Yes. We could live with them in our house inside their house.

Me: Hmm. That might be crowded. Where would we sleep? Where would we put Mommy's bed?

C: Abby's bed and Calliope's bed would be in Eleanor's room. Because Amy and Seth sleep together in their room. And that's the trick! (No idea what the "trick" part means.)


  1. Funny how their minds construct ideas. Last night, Elena said she wanted to marry me!! When I told her she & I can't get married, she said that was ok, we'd just live together forever & ever...I'm ok with that! I'll remind her when she's 16 that she said that!

  2. I think Jordyn said recently, something like, "we'll have a daddy next time". I think the "next time" comes from when I tell her we'll do/have/see/get/use something "next time" when she asks for it right then (i.e. "we'll have cheerios next time" when she already has a different cereal in her bowl). I thought it was kinda cute. But I hope she's not figuring we'll get a daddy next week or anything! Maybe eventually... but it'll certainly be a while, if ever!