I've been feeling "off" for a while. Like I've lost my groove. A little tired and run down, but not tired enough to be sick. Not exactly depressed, either. But everything just feels tiring. And lately, I'm feeling a little freaked, on a low level, all the time. Because of worrying about future diabetes, and worrying about how much money I am spending. My childcare bills are staggering.
I've been doing great with wheat free. Yesterday I had a couple bites of Calliope's granola bar at the doctor's office because I forgot my own snack and I was suddenly so hungry I was nauseous, but I think that's the first slip I've made this month. My blood sugars have mostly been very good, although a little worse the last couple of days. But zero change in my stomach. If anything, it got bigger. Though I think the arrival of AF may have helped a little in that regard.
This week is our Winter Break and for the first time, I have made almost no plans. I'm always a person that needs to get out of the house and accomplish something. But for once, I think that both Calliope and me really need to not accomplish anything for a bit. I wonder if we will get bored but so far, it's amazing. Yesterday, Saturday, I had to take her to the doctor (sore throat and low grade fever after finishing antibiotics only a couple days prior) but so far, today, we have been inside with no plans to go out. The cleaning lady was here on Wednesday and the laundry's been folded and put away and it's sunny and bright inside and oh so cold outside -- it was one degree out Fahrenheit when we woke up -- and it's all just perfect. Calliope and I made molasses cookies -- her request, instead of chocolate cookies with pink frosting! -- and it was not stressful at all because we had no place we had to go. Lovely. And rare, for us.
I decided to try talking to a nutritionist, and googled "Brooklyn Nutritionist" and found someone who offered a free consultation via Skype. I emailed her for an appointment and we Skyped on Thursday. It was great! She offers two sessions a month, focusing on food but touching of all aspects of life, like work and family and managing stress. And best of all, she sends a care package every month!
The idea of someone taking care of me a little, the working-full-time-SMC-to-two? Wow. Just wow. Worth the price tag. I need something to shift a little. The stress is just feeling a bit too much lately.