Making it to 20 weeks was a big one. Halfway there!
And for some reason, hearing the heartbeat at 21 weeks felt like one too... maybe because this one was observed with my midwife? I don't know, but ever since that appointment, I've been bouncing all the walls. Way more energy, all of the sudden. And getting all sorts of things crossed off my to-do list! Boring, but good.
The next milestone is 24 weeks. Although I know that is far too early for a baby to be born... when I worked in the NICU, we had 24 weekers survive most of the time. I always said that if I went into labor at 24 weeks, I would run for the hills rather than put my tiny baby through that hell... but still. Technically viable.
Now I have a new milestone. Today the Baby Ticker says 129 days. That number will drop to double digits in 30 days. I don't think I ever thought that would happen. So that's a new (and pretty much meaningless) one to look forward to. Hey, whatever passes the time, right?
After that, there's the end of second trimester. I consider the third trimester to start at 26 weeks (calling each trimester 13 weeks... I figure by 39 weeks, I will be so sick of being pregnant that I really won't care what it's called).
After that... we shall see. I can't imagine that far ahead!
(A not so good thing about working in the NICU is that I consider pregnancy after, say, 35 weeks to be more like a bonus than actually necessary. Even though I read the literature that says even late term premature babies don't do as well as full term ones, long term (slight but significant differences, not necessarily noticeable at birth). I have to learn to change the way I see things with that. Not sure quite how... but I'm working on it.)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Intuitive Eating
Anyone out there heard of Weston Price?
He was this apparently brilliant dentist who, in the 1940's, I believe, went around the world studying different "primitive" (read: isolated) cultures to look at their diets and the state of their teeth.
What he found is that "primitive" diets varied in many ways, but had in common a few things such as:
He was this apparently brilliant dentist who, in the 1940's, I believe, went around the world studying different "primitive" (read: isolated) cultures to look at their diets and the state of their teeth.
What he found is that "primitive" diets varied in many ways, but had in common a few things such as:
- all contained animal fats and protein -- some rarely ate meat, but all consumed animal protein, and certainly none were vegan
- they all ate lots of the naturally occurring fats that we are now taught to be scared of, like saturated fats. none of them ate trans fats, of course.
- they didn't eat sugar, or white flour, or other processed carbohyrdrates
- they had wide faces and beautiful, uncrowded teeth
I am grossly oversimplifying here, and I will try to come back and do a better job soon.
I first learned about this work from Nina Planck's book, Real Food, and more recently her newer book, Real Food for Mother and Baby. Brilliant and inspiring. (I highly, highly recommend the latter for TTC'ing, pregnant, and nursing women.)
I've tried to eat more like this for a while, and then it gets hard. My mother, in particular, is critical of my consumption of, gasp!, whole fat (organic, grass-fed) milk. And it really is "going against the grain" (pun coincidental but nonetheless enjoyed), and it's hard to do anything that's so contrary to what we hear every day... and my convictions start to erode.
It's worth noting that drinking whole fat, grass-fed, organic, raw milk this summer is what seems to have cured me of my lactose intolerance. For what it's worth. (I'd love to drink raw milk in the city, but it's hard to come by. Still a work in progress... I've got a new lead.)
Truthfully, the low fat (organic) yogurt that I switched to recently... I like it better than the whole-fat stuff, which leaves a greasy feeling in my mouth. But I'm going to try it again. I might just have to skim the layer of cream off the top, though.
Anyway, I'm very committed to not dieting. But at the same time, re-reading these books, and also Nourishing Traditions, I'm feeling a certain pressure to reform my diet. To start eating more protein (lately, my mainstays have been yogurt at breakfast, with fruit, and milk and fruit smoothies at night) so that I know I'm feeling my girl properly.
But then, naturally enough (if you know me), I feel the urge to rebel. I'm not so good with authority.
So I'm trying to find a way to work on all this gently.
So I watched and observed as I started rebelling these past few days, before I had even made any changes. I watched as I bought candy, thoughtfully observing... and noticed that I was content with a few bites. And celebrated that as progress. Even if I finished off a package of candy over a weekend, I saw it being broken down into several different occasions as progress. (Even though before this, I had rarely been eating candy.)
I also focused on a new mantra that I created for myself, "better to add than to take away."
In other words, I'm going to try to avoid thinking about what I don't want to eat, and focus instead on what I do want to eat.
So today, after my appointment with the midwife, I skipped on over to the fish store, and bought myself some... oh dear, pregnancy brain... lemon flounder? I don't remember. Something light and flaky.
Of course, when I got home, my feet hurt (the train couldn't stop at my regular station and continued one stop beyond. I decided to enjoy a longer walk home... and got a bit lost in the Hassidic community. For a god-loving people, some of them sure are mean and aggressive drivers. Yikes. Sorry, that's probably hugely offensive and essentializing and all that. But it has "struck" me multiple times recently). So when I finally got home I was tired enough that I wanted to sit for a few minutes... and that led me to snacking on Raisin Bran (on sale at CVS for an incredible $1.87 a box), first plain, then with albeit organic, grass-fed whole milk.
An aside: ever since I had Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome last October and was on a low sodium diet, cereal makes me feel unbearably thirsty afterwards. It's not like I limit my salt intake in other respects. Weird.
Anyway, so I had the Raisin Bran. I could've been critical of myself, but I decided not to be. Very un-Intuitive Eating (this is a whole awesome movement that I've been a part of for two and a half years now) to beat yourself up. But eventually, not too long later, actually, due to the wonders of pregnancy, I was hungry again! Surprise!
So I mustered up my energy and dusted that lovely white flaky fish in ground almonds (I figured that my friend Weston would like almonds better than white flour) and sauteed it in a mixture of coconut oil and butter. Ol' Wes loves coconut oil (as well as butter), as it's high in... lauric acid? I forget. Something that you can't get from anywhere but coconut oil, and maybe also breast milk. Sorry I'm butchering his work so badly.
Anyway, I'm pleased with myself.
I'm being careful to avoid any goals of weight loss. In addition to the rather obvious obstacle of being pregnant, I'm very wary of hoping for weight loss, as a) it never happens, and b) it gets my head in a bad, mean, self-hating space.
So I won't go there.
But I would like to work on this possible case of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome I've got. My lab work is dead normal -- no elevated LH;FSH ratio, nice low cholesterol and triglycerides, perfect fasting glucose -- but I've got some of the clinical signs, like skin tags, weight gain (was borderline overweight when I got pregnant, but more relevant, had gained at least 20 pounds in the last few years, after being stable at one weight for five years), a touch of possible hirsuitism (not pronounced, but again, different than how I was a few years back), a little acne here an there... Nothing impressive in itself, just changes from the "old" me.
So I'm hoping this new way of eating might help me physically... without doing any of the mental damage that I've experienced with diets, many of them with touted health benefits, that I've experimented with in the past.
I'm curious if this is an all or nothing proposition, this "diet"... I don't do well with rules, as I believe I mentioned before. So if I'm not allowed to have a donut, it'll be all donuts, all the time. But if it's just encouraged to limit my donuts unless I really, really want one... I probably won't think about donuts for months at a time.
But the beautiful thing about this way of eating, so far as I can tell, is that it really isn't a diet. So there are no rules. A blessing and a curse, both.
Most of y'all probably think this is totally nuts, but if anyone has any knowledge or interest in this, please do contact me. I'd love to chat about it.
This is kind of a crappy website, but if you are persistent and poke around a bit, you can get a better idea of what his work is about. http://www.westonaprice.org/
Please do read Nina Planck's book! If nothing else, it's fascinating and well researched. Whether you agree with the science or not, you won't be bored.
Visit to the Midwife
I had my 21 week visit to the midwife today.
Happily, everything looks normal. According to her, my belly (and uterus) is just the right size, "a neat little package," as she put it. It's actually quite lovely to have some smile approvingly at my stomach. I'm not sure I've ever experienced it before... but highly recommend it. A wonderful way to feel good about your body.
My blood pressure was just fine (108/64, I believe), and I'd gained another two pounds.
And the heartbeat sounded great. I didn't ask her what the count was, but I could tell it was fine (my months in the NICU stand me in good stead here.)
Before and after the exam, I asked tons of questions. I feel like we're both starting to get to know each other now, and I'm really liking her. A little worried when she mentioned me meeting her backup midwife, in case she's away when I go into labor... but I told her that I'm planning to deliver at 39 weeks (the power of suggestion, little Lentil!) and she laughed and said she expects to be around then. Phew!
The question that made her break down laughing uncontrollably was when I said, haltingly, "I feel this weird heaviness in my lower abdomen. At first I thought it was that I wasn't emptying my bladder... but now I don't think it's that."
When she could speak again, after she wiped her eyes, she explained that yup, that would be my growing uterus and girl within causing that feeling of heaviness.
Ahh yes, the pregnancy. Of course.
No one had explained this to me, precisely, so I didn't know that it was going to feel like I was carrying a bowling ball around in my stomach, I guess?
Anyway, we had a lovely chat. I got the all-clear to skip childbirth classes entirely. After reading Ina Mae Gaskin's book, and Michel Odent's work, I really do think that the little I would learn from them would just freak me out. Again, NICU and other hospital experience mean that I know my way around the medical aspect of things pretty well.. all I feel like I need to learn is coping skills.
And I left the visit (conveniently located just a few blocks from work... have I mentioned that she comes to my office to draw my blood, because her son is a student in the school where I work? and how awesome is that?), I was practically bouncing down the street in the bright sunshine. This was the first visit together where I actually got excited about this adventure I have to look forward to!
Tonight I took the plunge and purchased the Hypnobabies Home Study course, complete with many CD's and tracks to listen to. What's cool is that it describes itself as a "complete childbirth preparation class" so I guess I will get all that info, anyway. Except for the experience of meeting other pregnant women. Which could be awesome, or could be... awkward, if it was hard being the only single one. I have a friend who offered to go with me, but you know, I'm not really into group study that much. So I think this will work well for me.
Happily, everything looks normal. According to her, my belly (and uterus) is just the right size, "a neat little package," as she put it. It's actually quite lovely to have some smile approvingly at my stomach. I'm not sure I've ever experienced it before... but highly recommend it. A wonderful way to feel good about your body.
My blood pressure was just fine (108/64, I believe), and I'd gained another two pounds.
And the heartbeat sounded great. I didn't ask her what the count was, but I could tell it was fine (my months in the NICU stand me in good stead here.)
Before and after the exam, I asked tons of questions. I feel like we're both starting to get to know each other now, and I'm really liking her. A little worried when she mentioned me meeting her backup midwife, in case she's away when I go into labor... but I told her that I'm planning to deliver at 39 weeks (the power of suggestion, little Lentil!) and she laughed and said she expects to be around then. Phew!
The question that made her break down laughing uncontrollably was when I said, haltingly, "I feel this weird heaviness in my lower abdomen. At first I thought it was that I wasn't emptying my bladder... but now I don't think it's that."
When she could speak again, after she wiped her eyes, she explained that yup, that would be my growing uterus and girl within causing that feeling of heaviness.
Ahh yes, the pregnancy. Of course.
No one had explained this to me, precisely, so I didn't know that it was going to feel like I was carrying a bowling ball around in my stomach, I guess?
Anyway, we had a lovely chat. I got the all-clear to skip childbirth classes entirely. After reading Ina Mae Gaskin's book, and Michel Odent's work, I really do think that the little I would learn from them would just freak me out. Again, NICU and other hospital experience mean that I know my way around the medical aspect of things pretty well.. all I feel like I need to learn is coping skills.
And I left the visit (conveniently located just a few blocks from work... have I mentioned that she comes to my office to draw my blood, because her son is a student in the school where I work? and how awesome is that?), I was practically bouncing down the street in the bright sunshine. This was the first visit together where I actually got excited about this adventure I have to look forward to!
Tonight I took the plunge and purchased the Hypnobabies Home Study course, complete with many CD's and tracks to listen to. What's cool is that it describes itself as a "complete childbirth preparation class" so I guess I will get all that info, anyway. Except for the experience of meeting other pregnant women. Which could be awesome, or could be... awkward, if it was hard being the only single one. I have a friend who offered to go with me, but you know, I'm not really into group study that much. So I think this will work well for me.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Shooting Stars
This evening I was lying on the couch, proudly and carefully not taking a nap, when I felt something.
Something which I am pretty sure was my Lentil. Finally making her presence known.
(There was that time a few nights ago when I lay on my belly and it felt like she did a big flip... but it only happened once, so I'm still not sure... and another time when I felt a few tiny flutters down near my pubic bone...)
But this time felt like for real. Especially since I wasn't even thinking about her.
And I felt exactly like when I was a kid at summer camp, and we would sleep out in the apple orchard on the night of the meteor shower. Waiting, scanning the sky impatiently... then see that brief flash... and shouting,
"Whoa! Did you see that one?"
And then someone else asking piteously, "Where? I missed it!"
And then eagerly scanning the sky again, waiting and waiting, thinking urgently, "Do it again! Do it again!"
It was magic, just like that.
(And after a couple more nudges from my drowsy star, I am still waiting, impatiently.)
Something which I am pretty sure was my Lentil. Finally making her presence known.
(There was that time a few nights ago when I lay on my belly and it felt like she did a big flip... but it only happened once, so I'm still not sure... and another time when I felt a few tiny flutters down near my pubic bone...)
But this time felt like for real. Especially since I wasn't even thinking about her.
And I felt exactly like when I was a kid at summer camp, and we would sleep out in the apple orchard on the night of the meteor shower. Waiting, scanning the sky impatiently... then see that brief flash... and shouting,
"Whoa! Did you see that one?"
And then someone else asking piteously, "Where? I missed it!"
And then eagerly scanning the sky again, waiting and waiting, thinking urgently, "Do it again! Do it again!"
It was magic, just like that.
(And after a couple more nudges from my drowsy star, I am still waiting, impatiently.)
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Bump: 20 weeks
I guess I timed my "coming out" perfectly, because two different teenage patients noticed my burgeoning belly in the three days following.
One said, "Abby, you didn't tell me you were pregnant!"
She is 18 and has a one year old daughter, and it felt very strange, indeed, for her to want to compare notes, and for her to share with me how painful labor was for her. I changed the subject as quickly as I could. While smiling and saying thanks.
Then she asked if my "boyfriend" was involved... my moment of truth, for the first time with a patient. I gave her the most abridged version I could come up with.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Stop lying." (said with a teasing smile)
"No really, I don't."
"Then how did you do it?"
"I used an anonymous donor. And a doctor."
"So how do they decide which donor to give you?"
(I love this question. An SMC thinker that I met on Sunday told me that her mother asked the same question, and I quipped that she should've answered, "I'm just hoping they don't give me the black one!")
But I was professional and composed and just explained that you can pick your donor, just like an online dating service. Then I asked how her daughter was doing, and the baby's father.
The second patient said, "Abby, you look different, like you are putting on weight." And I confessed my truth to her. At least with this one, she's already graduated from high school (last June... she came back to visit me for a pregnancy test... I pointed out that she could buy one in the drugstore, but she said no, she wanted to come in... and while visiting, asked if I could please [someday] deliver her baby... because she's never trusted another doctor... I do love my girls), so it somehow felt less weird, like we are both adults.
The funny thing was that her friend, currently a 12th grader, and also close with me, then came down to my office to help her friend survive her first Depo Provera (birth control) shot. So in the midst of the drama that unfolds when a needle phobic person decides, sort of, that getting an injection is a good idea... her [graduate] friend tells her [the 12th grader] that I'm pregnant, and the other one retorts, "Abby is not pregnant. Now stop stalling."
She apparently thought her friend was making it up. Which is funny, given my appearance these days. But god bless her for not noticing! It's always reassuring to work with people and cultures that don't really care about a little weight gain here or there.
Little Ms Lentil continues her quiet meditation. I've felt a couple of things this week that felt like movement, but it's infrequent enough that I'm really not sure. After spending one night worrying about sleeping on my stomach, and consequently tossing from side to back to the other side... I'm back to blissfully sleeping on my stomach... assuming that my body or my Lentil will give me a very clear message when I really must cease and desist.
And in the meantime, I bought a "Snoogle" pregnancy pillow (could the name be any worse???) to be at the ready for whenever I need it. I assume that time will be obvious? I bought the pillow for $10 off of the Park Slope Parents classifieds.
I also bought this, also used.... half bouncy seat, half cradle... which glides back and forth via battery power, for $20. It seemed like too good of a deal to pass up... but it also seems like probably one too many items of newborn baby furniture. Especially since my sister is giving me my niece's old bassinet, which I would not have bought myself. I'm justifying it by telling myself that it's the only one I paid for... and at a bargain price, to boot. Everything else is being inherited, which makes me happy. But it's sort of nice, in a mind tripping sort of way, to have a piece of baby furniture in the house now (everything else will arrive the weekend of the baby shower, when my family drives down from Massachusetts... my sister's items are being stored in my mom's basement for my cousin to bring... how convoluted is that???)... I look at it several times a day, trying to imagine a baby, my baby, inside it. It looks impossibly big... how can anything coming out of my body possibly outgrow this thing in just a few short months?
One said, "Abby, you didn't tell me you were pregnant!"
She is 18 and has a one year old daughter, and it felt very strange, indeed, for her to want to compare notes, and for her to share with me how painful labor was for her. I changed the subject as quickly as I could. While smiling and saying thanks.
Then she asked if my "boyfriend" was involved... my moment of truth, for the first time with a patient. I gave her the most abridged version I could come up with.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Stop lying." (said with a teasing smile)
"No really, I don't."
"Then how did you do it?"
"I used an anonymous donor. And a doctor."
"So how do they decide which donor to give you?"
(I love this question. An SMC thinker that I met on Sunday told me that her mother asked the same question, and I quipped that she should've answered, "I'm just hoping they don't give me the black one!")
But I was professional and composed and just explained that you can pick your donor, just like an online dating service. Then I asked how her daughter was doing, and the baby's father.
The second patient said, "Abby, you look different, like you are putting on weight." And I confessed my truth to her. At least with this one, she's already graduated from high school (last June... she came back to visit me for a pregnancy test... I pointed out that she could buy one in the drugstore, but she said no, she wanted to come in... and while visiting, asked if I could please [someday] deliver her baby... because she's never trusted another doctor... I do love my girls), so it somehow felt less weird, like we are both adults.
The funny thing was that her friend, currently a 12th grader, and also close with me, then came down to my office to help her friend survive her first Depo Provera (birth control) shot. So in the midst of the drama that unfolds when a needle phobic person decides, sort of, that getting an injection is a good idea... her [graduate] friend tells her [the 12th grader] that I'm pregnant, and the other one retorts, "Abby is not pregnant. Now stop stalling."
She apparently thought her friend was making it up. Which is funny, given my appearance these days. But god bless her for not noticing! It's always reassuring to work with people and cultures that don't really care about a little weight gain here or there.
And in the meantime, I bought a "Snoogle" pregnancy pillow (could the name be any worse???) to be at the ready for whenever I need it. I assume that time will be obvious? I bought the pillow for $10 off of the Park Slope Parents classifieds.
I also bought this, also used.... half bouncy seat, half cradle... which glides back and forth via battery power, for $20. It seemed like too good of a deal to pass up... but it also seems like probably one too many items of newborn baby furniture. Especially since my sister is giving me my niece's old bassinet, which I would not have bought myself. I'm justifying it by telling myself that it's the only one I paid for... and at a bargain price, to boot. Everything else is being inherited, which makes me happy. But it's sort of nice, in a mind tripping sort of way, to have a piece of baby furniture in the house now (everything else will arrive the weekend of the baby shower, when my family drives down from Massachusetts... my sister's items are being stored in my mom's basement for my cousin to bring... how convoluted is that???)... I look at it several times a day, trying to imagine a baby, my baby, inside it. It looks impossibly big... how can anything coming out of my body possibly outgrow this thing in just a few short months?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Tired
I've heard that women in their second trimester feel fantastic.
So I've been awfully concerned about how I've been feeling. I posted to the SMC (that's Single Mothers by Choice, in case you forgot) Pregnancy listserve, worriedly asking for advice about why I'm so tired.
I think I was pretty much... laughed at. Gently, of course. With love.
Apparently, this baby growing enterprise can be, like, waaaaaaay tiring.
It all makes sense, but I wish somebody had explained that to me before I got my hopes up and, silly me, thought I could accomplish things like I did back, pre-pregnancy.
I called in sick for tomorrow. I feel like I'm still not recovered from Friday and Saturday's busy days... and the cumulative effects of last week, in general.
How am I possibly going to survive another 19 and a half weeks of this?
I was feeling like twenty weeks was such a major milestone... and it is... but now it's occurring to me, my god, I'm only halfway done! I have twenty more weeks of this... and right now is as good as it's going to get?
Please don't get me wrong, I'm ever so grateful to be having this baby girl. I still can't get over my good luck.
But the reality of being pregnant is scaring me. What if I don't want my belly to keep getting bigger? What if I am scared by how soon, already, my feet start hurting (this morning, while showering, after just shaving my legs for example)? Is there some loophole wherein I could still have the baby, but not have my body become completely and totally foreign?
And exercise... I'm scared it's becoming a thing of the past. I'm just too tired all the time. Who am I becoming???
Advice and encouragement eagerly sought from those that have survived this.
So I've been awfully concerned about how I've been feeling. I posted to the SMC (that's Single Mothers by Choice, in case you forgot) Pregnancy listserve, worriedly asking for advice about why I'm so tired.
I think I was pretty much... laughed at. Gently, of course. With love.
Apparently, this baby growing enterprise can be, like, waaaaaaay tiring.
It all makes sense, but I wish somebody had explained that to me before I got my hopes up and, silly me, thought I could accomplish things like I did back, pre-pregnancy.
I called in sick for tomorrow. I feel like I'm still not recovered from Friday and Saturday's busy days... and the cumulative effects of last week, in general.
How am I possibly going to survive another 19 and a half weeks of this?
I was feeling like twenty weeks was such a major milestone... and it is... but now it's occurring to me, my god, I'm only halfway done! I have twenty more weeks of this... and right now is as good as it's going to get?
Please don't get me wrong, I'm ever so grateful to be having this baby girl. I still can't get over my good luck.
But the reality of being pregnant is scaring me. What if I don't want my belly to keep getting bigger? What if I am scared by how soon, already, my feet start hurting (this morning, while showering, after just shaving my legs for example)? Is there some loophole wherein I could still have the baby, but not have my body become completely and totally foreign?
And exercise... I'm scared it's becoming a thing of the past. I'm just too tired all the time. Who am I becoming???
Advice and encouragement eagerly sought from those that have survived this.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
New Profile Pic
I did it.
I just "outed" myself on Facebook -- I used my Lentil's ultrasound as my new profile pic. And just to make it really obvious, changed my status to "... has a new and very exciting profile pic."
I'm excited and a little apprehensive to see the response. I'm not worried that people will disapprove or anything like that. It's just that "coming out" is an awfully big step.
Also, I'm supposed to go to a "meat party" that started at 1 pm. It's called a Meat Party because the woman throwing it, a new sort-of-friend, just lost her old roommate, who, while having many wonderful qualities. My new "friend" is grieving the loss of her roommate of twelve years... but is celebrating the silver lining by inviting folk to come over and bring meat products.
I bought bacon this morning after my doula interview so that I could make peanut butter bacon cookies. They are pretty quick and easy.
But you know what? This week completely kicked my butt. And I feel that having to make cookies is creating a barrier to me getting to this party -- I would rather skip the party than muster up the energy to make cookies. (And I normally love baking. I'm just so tired.)
The doula interview went great! I totally fell for her. So no more doula interviews. I'm done. We hugged.
And she's part of the NYC doula co-op, which has different pricing levels based on experience... she's only $250 and she lives walking distance from me. Awesome.
After my Meat Party, I'm going glider shopping with a SMC-Would've-Been-Except-She-Fell-For-Her-Donor friend. They just moved in together, and everything seems to be going beautifully. No, she's not pregnant. I think they are working on the relationship for a bit, first. But she offered to help with any baby prep, weeks back, and this is the only thing left on my list, practically. (My mom offered to buy the glider for me as a gift.) So shopping it is. And then maybe dinner with another friend after that, if I can still stand up at that point.
My mom also sent me a gorgeous little pair of white leather booties embroidered with flowers. I got them on Wednesday. My very first present for my little girl!
And last night my pregnant friend C and I went to a pre-sale consignment sale and bought all sorts of baby clothes. I'm inheriting tons of stuff from my sister, but I figured that without a washer/dryer in my apartment, I'm going to be doing laundry a lot less frequently than my sister did. So I stocked up on lots of little onesies. And the most adorable giraffe costume. Because every baby girl needs a giraffe costume, right?
We justified it by the fact that everything was very inexpensive. C and I were terrible enablers for each other, I'm afraid. But we had a blast. I was sitting on my bed last night, surrounded by little piles of pink and yellow onesies and just feeling completely floored that I am the one with stacks of baby chothes in her house. For a little girl, no less.
How did I get so incredibly lucky???
I just "outed" myself on Facebook -- I used my Lentil's ultrasound as my new profile pic. And just to make it really obvious, changed my status to "... has a new and very exciting profile pic."
I'm excited and a little apprehensive to see the response. I'm not worried that people will disapprove or anything like that. It's just that "coming out" is an awfully big step.
Also, I'm supposed to go to a "meat party" that started at 1 pm. It's called a Meat Party because the woman throwing it, a new sort-of-friend, just lost her old roommate, who, while having many wonderful qualities. My new "friend" is grieving the loss of her roommate of twelve years... but is celebrating the silver lining by inviting folk to come over and bring meat products.
I bought bacon this morning after my doula interview so that I could make peanut butter bacon cookies. They are pretty quick and easy.
But you know what? This week completely kicked my butt. And I feel that having to make cookies is creating a barrier to me getting to this party -- I would rather skip the party than muster up the energy to make cookies. (And I normally love baking. I'm just so tired.)
The doula interview went great! I totally fell for her. So no more doula interviews. I'm done. We hugged.
And she's part of the NYC doula co-op, which has different pricing levels based on experience... she's only $250 and she lives walking distance from me. Awesome.
After my Meat Party, I'm going glider shopping with a SMC-Would've-Been-Except-She-Fell-For-Her-Donor friend. They just moved in together, and everything seems to be going beautifully. No, she's not pregnant. I think they are working on the relationship for a bit, first. But she offered to help with any baby prep, weeks back, and this is the only thing left on my list, practically. (My mom offered to buy the glider for me as a gift.) So shopping it is. And then maybe dinner with another friend after that, if I can still stand up at that point.
My mom also sent me a gorgeous little pair of white leather booties embroidered with flowers. I got them on Wednesday. My very first present for my little girl!
And last night my pregnant friend C and I went to a pre-sale consignment sale and bought all sorts of baby clothes. I'm inheriting tons of stuff from my sister, but I figured that without a washer/dryer in my apartment, I'm going to be doing laundry a lot less frequently than my sister did. So I stocked up on lots of little onesies. And the most adorable giraffe costume. Because every baby girl needs a giraffe costume, right?
We justified it by the fact that everything was very inexpensive. C and I were terrible enablers for each other, I'm afraid. But we had a blast. I was sitting on my bed last night, surrounded by little piles of pink and yellow onesies and just feeling completely floored that I am the one with stacks of baby chothes in her house. For a little girl, no less.
How did I get so incredibly lucky???
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