Friday, June 3, 2011

Crazy Dreams

Dream One

I am watching my friend Emily's two gorgeous children (and I'm not just saying that because she reads this blog! they really are beautiful) and I'm nursing the younger one (with Emily's permission, so I can learn how to do it), and Emily comes in and is watching me, and says something approving, along the lines of, "you're doing fine."

And I say, "yeah, but look at these growths coming off the side of my breast."

And she glances at these enormous red globular things growing grotesquesly out of the side of my left breast, and says reassuringly, "Well, get it checked out, of course, but I'm sure it's normal."

Dream Two

I am at my old summer camp, waiting anxiously for my sister to arrive with my six week old baby... who I have never met. I either used an egg donor, but somehow didn't get the child right away, or else adopted the baby. Why my sister has the baby, I don't know.

But as usual, she is running very late, and I am pacing back and forth in front of the window, watching for her car.

Finally she arrives and I rush out to get the baby from her. The baby is shaped like a concrete block, so chubby she's practically square (no neck whatsoever). I see from the birth certificate that she was born weighing ten and a half pounds. She has straight, jet black hair (mine is brown and curly, the donor's was dirty blond as a child), piercing blue eyes (mine are brown, the donor's are hazel), and porcelain white skin (I am more olive). 

I don't feel any pangs of recognition whatsoever. I'm not sad, just bewildered. I go to work, cuddling the baby against my skin, and doing all the right things, assuming I will feel something soon... but it's all very strange. 

Interpretation of Dreams

(PS No, I did not go into premature labor last night and forget to mention it. As it happens, I'm still pregnant. And the girl is still moving about reassuringly. Go figure.) 

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