This is the sort of thing that is maybe more easily shared on a mostly anonymous blog...
I have a boil.
On my cootch.
It's not from anything fun, or even anything like preparing for fun (like shaving), it's just weirdly... there.
It's not even in a particularly interesting area, as the geography down south goes. I think it's a coincidence that it's covered by underwear and thus gets better billing than if it was, say, located on my leg.
But what an awesome reason for a sick day, should it not heal in a few more days, right?
"Oh sorry, brand-new-boss, I have a festering boil on my yoni, won't be making it in today. You don't mind, do you?"