Sunday, March 18, 2012

Worrying Just a Little

I was starting to get a little worried about myself wih this funk I was in, discussed in a prior post. Yesterday I just felt so tired and unmotivated. I've had struggles in the past with depression, though they were always fueled by social anxiety, never by something like this. Still, I worry, especially now because my precious girl doesn't deserve to be exposed to something so heavy. And when she gives me an innocent, two-tooth grin, it hurts my heart to not be fully present.

Luckily, yesterday, Saturday, was restorative. I threw chores to the wind and went out for an aimless walk with Emily and her nearly four year old daughter, then came back to my apartment and the three of them played on the floor and kept me company while I worked out on the elliptical. Exercise is absolutely my anti-depressant of choice. Indeed, I wonder if this struggle may be related to the fact that I'm not getting enough exercise. I'm holding steady at four days a week -- thought this week would be five, which is always my goal, but today's fun wore me out -- but they're not quite long enough. Ahh, a work in progress.

Anyway, that was really nice. So sweet to have their company even while I was dragging through a workout.

Reading with the girls. Isn't it sweet how Annabelle has her arm
around Calliope?

In the evening I went to a St Patrick's Day celebration at a friend's house. Calliope was a good sport, but she's just not happy being out past her extremely early bedtime of 6:30 pm. Her fatigue manifested as stranger anxiety. Poor little munchkin.

She was extremely festive, though, in a green outfit that was given to us along with a stack of other new clothes that a friend's baby never got to wear because she grew so fast. Calliope looked a little ridiculous, more like a green bean than anything else, but it was fun. And doesn't everyone love the open-crotch look that comes with a slightly-too-small one piece, terrycloth, Kelly green outfit?

Today we had a lovely outing with our friends Catherine and Jack.  We headed out to the farmer's market to pick up a few essentials, then went back to Catherine's for a quick nursing and some playing.

Calliope and the always smiling Jack. Note the always popular split-crotch
look that Calliope is sporting.

Here's a video of the two of them.
Jack and Calliope, tussling

I'm proud of Calliope -- she held onto that ball as best she could, and didn't seem phased by Jack's "affection."

Frankly, though, I'm a little shocked by the lack of supervision on the part of the mothers, who can be heard laughing uproariously in the background.

Catherine and I went to the Botanic Gardens a year ago, quite pregnant, during peak cherry blossom festival. It was fun to be back nearly a year later with our strollers! Especially because we aren't pregnant any longer. It's easier to enjoy the sights that way.

Isn't my cleavage awesome???
Under a... ?dogwood tree in the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens 
Catherine and Calliope having a serious conversation
at the zoo while Jack sleeps. He's an awesome napper!
Unlike some people I know.

Touching foreheads with Catherine... Calliope loves doing this but saves it
for her favorite folks... Don't the pink sunglasses bring out the green in
her leisure suit in the nicest way?


  1. Lovely to see you guys today - great hangout! Next time, maybe the babies will actually be awake for the baboons!

    PS My hair style in these pictures... I have no words. Sweet lord!

  2. I've had struggles with depression and I understand that feeling of not being present. I'm glad you were able to get out and exercise (also my anti-depressant of choice).

    I can't believe how big Calliope is getting! Time goes by so fast. She's adorable and I love the green suit.

  3. She is so cute in that outfit, I can't stand it. Love her forehead touching too. Sorry you've been feeling down. Hope the exercise is the ticket.

  4. Glad you're feeling a little better. Yes, exercise is so essential, and sometimes so hard to squeeze in. Although I'm impressed that you're even getting as much as you are. And she is SUCH a cutie. LOVE that green with the sunglasses!

  5. Calliope is a doll! I am glad that you guys are able to get out and spend some time with friends. :-)