Fun Photos

Mostly from yesterday, when I was twin mom for a day -- nanny needed a day off, so it was my turn to go solo with the girls for the first time.

All I can say is... you twin moms complain far too much! It was totally easy.

Heh.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

It actually went pretty darn well. We went for a very, very short walk (as in, we walked to the front of one building over, maybe 50 feet away) in the morning, to check out the falling snow. The girls didn't seem all that impressed. Eleanor kept plopping down on the sidewalk and Calliope kept attempting to dart into traffic.

After that, we had a play date in the morning, which helped a lot, I think. The diversion of another child and another mom helped Calliope from noticing as much when I needed to pay attention to Eleanor, which she was otherwise none to thrilled by. And then the afternoon went by pretty quickly, what with naps, bathtime, and especially because we went out for a quick outing to CVS to buy glycerine so we could make our own bubbles... some day.

Oh well.

The only major hiccups were putting Eleanor in the tub with her socks on -- sorry Eleanor, it took me a minute to figure out why you were squawking -- and then, after Calliope aborted her bath tub experience, Eleanor pooping in the tub.

Despite the fact that I reviewed the tub rules with both girls prior to bath time. I sat them on their respective potties and lectured them sternly, trying not to focus on Eleanor too much, who has a prior history, ahem, saying, "The number one rule of bath time is: THOU SHALT NOT POOP IN THE TUB."

No one is happy to hear a grunt and then a splash. Not good. Not good at all.

All the ladies love the bare chest/fur scarf/diaper look

What is love? Baby don't hurt me.

Eleanor's look of glee cleverly conceals her sinister plan

Her first ponytail!

Out in falling snow for the first time... this captures the only split second where they were in close proximity.

Update on My Mom

I've been meaning to update everyone for ages, but I hate to mix this up with breezy tidbits about Calliope.

My mom is doing well. They don't know the exact extent of things because, I gather, the hospital that did the biopsy (she's no longer there) didn't do a very thorough job of things. And indeed, could've done the biopsy at the same time as the initial investigative cystoscopy, when they put a camera inside to look around.

Anyway, she is receiving treatment at Mass General. She will receive six rounds of chemotherapy in total, each cycle totaling 21 days. Day one is the most arduous, about eight hours long, because she has to get blood work first and then a large bolus of fluid before and after the treatment, which includes a kidney-punishing drug. Then she doesn't have to come back until day eight, which is a much shorter day, where she only receives one drug, one that is much kinder to the system. After that, she is "off" for the rest of the cycle.

She starts round three tomorrow.

The first day of the first cycle was very hard for her. In hindsight, it appears that she had a severe migraine in reaction to her anxiety, and then the medications she was advised to take for her migraine completely knocked her out. But we didn't know all that at the time, so it was very alarming to see her so sleepy and not entirely logical. She ended up staying with my brother for maybe as much as a week, sleeping nearly around the clock. Finally he brought her home, because she was well enough to be mostly alone, but still couldn't drive herself. Luckily she has a network of women friends to visit her every day.

For the second round, the nurse practitioner put her on a complicated pre-chemotherapy treatment regimen, starting a few hours before the chemo, that managed her anxiety beautifully. No migraines, no excessive sleepiness, no incoherent conversations. She drove herself home from my brother's apartment the day after treatment.

I expect she will drive herself home again on Day Two of this cycle as well. Phew.

At the end of this cycle, she will have a scan to see how the treatment is affecting her tumor. The hope is that the "shadows" seen on her CT scan of her lymph nodes will have resolved, and that her tumor will have shrunk substantially.

After six cycles, assuming all is well, the doctor will schedule a surgery to remove her bladder and create a new bladder, I believe from a pouch of intestine.

I'm very anxious about the upcoming CT scan, and am fervently hoping for great news. The alternative is too awful to think about.

I feel like if we can just get through this safely, plus knowing that my job is safe... I will very, very grateful for my happy little life.

Calliope and I (yes, a breezy update after all) had a lovely Sunday together, just the two of us, and it was perfect. We went out for breakfast together -- she chewed the cream cheese off of her bagel and left the rest while eschewing my scrambled eggs, hummus, tabouli, and pita -- her loss. Then we visited the playground briefly -- she wasn't too enthusiastic about it. A brief stop at the farmer's market and the health food store, then home for a quick lunch then a two hour nap (love those!) for her while I checked email and worked out. She woke up hysterical, as happens occasionally, so after I failed in my attempts to comfort her, I put her back in the crib and finished my cool down. Then she was happy again, and watched me shower as she tried (and failed) to blow bubbles with her spill-proof bubble container. I tried to explain that successful bubble blowing does not involve putting one's bubble wand inside one's mouth, but she wouldn't listen.

After that, we went for an exciting walk to CVS. In the store, I opted to push her in the cart rather than let her go on a rampage, and since I brought some crackers as the second half of her lunch (part one was a cheese stick), she agreed. So that was uneventful. But the journey there was all sorts of interesting! There were parked cars to stop and stare at, and traffic to ogle, and frozen grass to puzzle over.

We stopped at the fruit stand to buy oranges and mangoes, then tackled the long (one block, approximately) walk home. I didn't have to carry her at all, either way, except for crosswalks!

Then we had a nice, if never quite hot enough for one of us, bath together. We played "If you're happy and you know it" with body parts -- you know, pat your belly, stomp your foot, etc.

It sounds like such a quiet day, and it was. But it's kind of awesome to realize how happy I am to just spend the day together. Before I became a mother, I was worried that I might be bored by hanging out with a toddler. But I'm not, not at all. I love it.

So now I just wonder if I'll be bored hanging out with my school aged child? Does it get more tedious when they can talk all the time? When they stop napping (and going to bed at 6:30 pm)? I feel like I still have it pretty darn easy. I know I'm very, very lucky about that.

Relief

My boss called this morning and said that while some parts of the hospital will be closing, our program will not. And our medical director, an adolescent medicine specialist, is safe as well.

Thank god.

I was really scared. Trying to be brave but thinking up a million obstacles to every job possibility I could think of (and apply for -- I had already spoken to a recruiter and posted my resume on Monster in the one day where there was uncertainty).

If I can just stay here long enough to get Calliope enrolled... I hope it's a great deal longer, but having her safely at this amazing, incredibly popular (admission by lottery) school will be such a relief.

Thank you for all the warm, supportive comments. They really made my anxiety-addled self feel better.

Bracing for Change

A few posts ago, I made a musing comment about being envious of others making big changes in their lives.

I guess I jinxed myself.

Today I received news that my hospital employer may be closing its doors. It was recently taken over by a larger hospital, and apparently that hospital is losing about three million dollars a week. And thus the state comptroller advised the CEO of the bigger hospital to close the smaller one.

I've been through similar threats (though never to the entire hospital) twice before at this job, and once, I officially did lose my job. But since my salary is pro-rated over the summers, I was still receiving a regular paycheck when the program I work for was saved. And so I'm hoping that the community and the politicians will rally once again to save this community hospital.

I'm scared of what this might mean. Scared, most of all, for what it will mean for Calliope. I didn't pay much attention to the schools in my neighborhood when I bought this apartment because I assumed she would be able to go to the school where I work (I work for a hospital but inside a public school). Now that is thrown into question.

I'm also worried about where I would work next. My current job is comfortable. I'm well liked, and I work absolutely independently. I've proven my productivity, and no one checks up on me. Plus, I'm on a school schedule! Summers off, and all those school vacations! What could be better for a single mother?

Now everything could be thrown into uproar.

But.

I'm trying not to panic. Trying to remember that worrying won't change the final outcome one iota, hard as that is to remember. So I might as well try to not worry, and to wait and watch events unfold.

There's also a small, possibly foolish, part of me that thinks that maybe this is the universe offering me that longed-for opportunity to reinvent myself. Calliope is young; there's no reason that we have to be settled down in one place at this stage in her life. Maybe having her by my side will give me the courage to try some place totally new, in some radical new plan. Like, maybe travel nursing (every 13 weeks a new assignment), or moving to a new city. Or maybe even international work for a year or two. I have  always dreamed of something spontaneous like this, this but until now, always lacked the courage to attempt it (apart from my rather spontaneous move to San Francisco after graduating from college). I always hoped that I would have a spouse that would empower me, knowing that I would have someone with me to keep loneliness at bay. But I think that Calliope could do the same thing. I wouldn't be alone with her for company, limited though it is in many respects.  It would be unfortunate if I had to sell my brand new (to me) apartment just a few months after buying it, but maybe the co-op board would be willing to bend the rules and let me sublet for a while.

So I'm scared, and in a funky mood, mourning my job and the community in my school, even before I have more news of what is to come. But a little part of me is alive to the possibilities at my doorstep.

Helping Around the House (Apartment)

Packing up infant bedding and toys

A "re-org" of the pantry, needed or not

Separating mushrooms from their stems

Emptying the [still dirty] dishwasher, with gusto

A Eureka Moment

Tonight at dinner, Calliope discovered...

Ketchup.

And the act of dipping.

I've been making hamburgers for us (I've started eating dinner with her in an effort to get her to eat more adventurously) a lot in the last week, as she showed ever more interest in the idea of eating one. Last night she even tasted, twice, the bun that the hamburger had been resting on!

And both last night and tonight, she chortled with glee as I shook the ketchup bottle. It seems she thought I was doing it to bring a dramatic flair to dinner? Anyway, tonight she started pointing at the ketchup bottle and asking for it in one of her nonsensical syllable questions. I was puzzled but finally figured out she wanted to try it.

So I squeezed a small dollop onto her tray. Her tiny finger grazed it ever so slightly, and then to my amazement, she actually stuck the finger into her mouth (have I mentioned that she's a "cautious" eater? Much more likely to let me feed her something new than to feed it to herself). And then came back for a slightly bolder poke into this strange red stuff.

And then she let me dip a little crumb of hamburger meat into the ketchup and put it into her mouth! She didn't want to touch the hamburger meat, but allowed me to give her several bites this way. Very exciting progress. Especially because lots of folks have recommended dipping as a way to entice a toddler to eat... but until now, dips seemed to freak her out, and made her reject food.

She also was very interested in the avocado that I was slicing to put on my half of the burger, and willingly ate several bites of that, another first for her. She's tasted avocado before, but always gagged on it. This was the first time she asked for second and third bites.

Now, after reading French Children Eat Everything, which I highly recommend -- a fun and interesting read about a Canadian family that moves to France for the year with their two young children and learns to feed them the French way -- hamburgers and dipping food into ketchup are not exactly the promised land.

But this is major progress from where she was.

Now maybe we can move on to homemade chicken nuggets! I still have a batch in the freezer since she never was willing to even taste them before. I am hoping that maybe she will eat them with the ketchup?

Once we master a few more kid foods, I will try again to introduce some slightly more grown up fare. And without ketchup, ideally. Two weeks ago I tried flounder, lovingly dipped in flour and then seared in butter but she wouldn't even taste it. I will keep trying. The suggestion of eating with her (at 5:15) definitely seems to be helping. And although it's adjustment to get used to eating so early, it's not so bad.

It was hard not to act excited during dinner, to see my child willingly eat all these new foods, but I really try to show no emotion, because her eating should not be in any way connected to our relationship, or to earning or rejecting my approval. So I've saved my victory dance for all of you! Hooray!

"Mommy, I'm ready to help!"

In another effort to broaden her eating repertoire, we've started cooking together. The

past two weekends, she has helped me chop vegetables for chicken soup... and she tasted, 

of her own volition, all the vegetables in the soup! This weekend, she even went back

for a second bite of raw mushroom!  

Now how do we put the carrot back together again?

She got very whiny and upset this past weekend when I started to chop without her. When

she saw the package of mushrooms, she kept pointing at them and saying "ha! ha!" in

a plaintive voice. I finally figured out that meant help! She wanted to help! 

So she handed me each mushroom cap so I could wipe it off, then put them back in the 

box. 

I always dreamed of cooking with a child... I can't believe I'm already doing it! So cool.

Seventeen Months

Sixteen months (since we are just starting seventeen months) has been an amazing age. Calliope's communication skills have been transformed. She still babbles unintelligibly sometimes... but I can tell those days of magical gibberish are quickly coming to an end. More often, she asks me something, like "Bah?", cocking her head to one side quizzically.

And I ask hesitantly, "Bah?"

And she answers, "Bah."

And then I shake my head sorrowfully. Because I have no idea what my dear child is saying. But I know that she knows what she's saying, and moreover, it makes sense in her toddler way, and I know it must be so frustrating to have your person not understand you when you are working so hard to communicate.

But she bears the disappointment with good grace.

And when she's already upset, she mostly doesn't communicate verbally... but we are working on it. I keep trying.

A few days ago she woke up completely hysterical from her nap. She's been sick with what seems to be just a mild cold, but accompanied by a fever, as high as 102 yesterday. I dosed her with Motrin today before I could see how high it might get -- it was already 100.8 at 9 am.

Anyway, I tried to get her to sign or speak her wants this afternoon, but she was too far gone. She clearly didn't want to be held -- did that spineless slump thing that toddlers do when you pick them up against their will. Didn't want to nurse. Didn't want to sit on the "pah-ee." Technically didn't want to read a book... but did stand and listen as I pretended to read "Little Blue Truck" out loud to myself. Finally I put her back in the crib. Where she immediately lay down and cried some more. But never held out her arms to be picked up.

Poor little nugget.

I went back in the living room and worked out a little bit longer until her cries escalated. And finally gave more Motrin and put on her baby sign language DVD. About ten minutes later, my happy toddler regained hold of her tormented soul. Phew.

Yesterday, to thank her for her patience while I worked out we took a bath together. She loves holding on to the side of the tub and stomping determinedly in the water with one foot. She saw me soaping up, so she made the sign for soap. I gave her a dab of liquid soap and she delighted in rubbing her protuberant belly and seeing it suds up. I showed her how to wash her arms, and I scooped her up to wash her legs.

Then I said, "Calliope, wash your tushy." I stood up in the tub to demonstrate.

She watched carefully... then reached out and started to wash me instead. It was very funny and cute.

When I combed my hair in the tub, I offered her a turn with the comb. She was fascinated with combing my hair. I had combed it down over my face, to make it easier for her to reach, and she pushed her face up inside, so that we were enveloped in a little inner cave inside my hair. No one has ever been inside my hair with me. It was an odd and beautiful moment.

At the playground, she loves to climb up onto the climbing structure, and look down at me (or at least, to look at me from a height higher than she is used to). Now we have a new game where we touch our noses between the railings on these play structures and say "boop!" delightedly. Such a small thing but it's ineffably sweet.

She's definitely less cuddly now than she was even a few weeks ago. I hear that eighteen months is an age where separation anxiety surges again. I'm wondering (longingly) if that means the return of more hugs and kisses? Right now, she's just too busy and too independent for all that.

Perhaps that's why I'm having trouble taking the plunge on weaning, for all that I keep talking about it. I am definitely happy that I eliminated the night (early morning) nursing, and she can easily skip the daytime nursing, and often does, but I'm having trouble with the early morning and bedtime feedings. I don't think she will care all that much. But Mommy is a little scared of letting go.

I'm a little envious right now of all my friends making big changes in their lives -- studying in Germany, buying a big house north of Manhattan, moving to Boston. Two of my three close neighborhood friends with kids Calliope's age are leaving. It's a bummer. But I'm also envious of the excitement of change, and the possibility of re-invention. The thing is, I would never in a million years want to re-invent myself as something other than Calliope's mother. But I'm suddenly daydreaming of taking her to live and work in Africa or a year, or moving back to San Francisco, or... something. Something new and exciting. Even though I only just bought this beautiful apartment.

I know it's silly, but there it is.

My mom wanted to know how many words she knows, and for me to make a list, so here's what I can think of:

Words

1. here (when she hands me something, she says this, as in "here you go")
2. go (as in "let's go!")
3. clap ("cap")
4. pear
5. orange ("or")
6. apple ("app")
7. banana ("dada" -- my favorite of her baby words!)
8. cracker ("quack-ah")
9. cream cheese ("creaky")
10. pee
11. poop ("pooh")
12. baby ("bay-bee" drawn out in an adorable lilt)
13. peanut butter ("mah" -- I have no idea why)
14. book
15. bubbles
16. pop (as in, what bubbles do)
17. teeth
18. sneeze
19. E-I-E-I-O ("yie yie yo" -- like the song)
20. head ("heh")
21. belly
22. nurse ("neh neh" -- as in, breastfeeding)
23. potty ("pah-ee")
24. help ("heh")
25. all done ("elga")
26. cheese ("gheeeeeezzzzzzzze")
27. Jack ("Gah!" -- her buddy, whose name is now mentioned every time we leave the apartment, even to go to the trash chute three feet outside my front door)
28. Ellie (her other buddy)
29. Mama
30. book 
31. "bock bock" (what a chicken says)
32. "Nah!" (what a cat says... in her alternate universe)
33. woof 
34. baaa
35. quack
36. neigh
37. doggie
38. duck
39. Hi! (in the cutest lilting way)
40. Bye bye
41. Umm (said thoughtfully whenever she gains access to the open refrigerator)
42. Up
43. Down (only once)
44. teeth
45. sneeze (only once or twice)
46. "me me me" (not sure this means something versus just being something fun to say)
47. And finally, this isn't a word, but whenever I say, "Can you say 'Grammy'?" she answers "Hi!" and presses her hand to the side of her head, as if holding a cell phone

Signs (note that there is only one duplicate between spoken and signed words, all done)

1. more
2. all done
3. water
4. food
5. bath (her favorite sign because she loves the song that accompanies it)
6. shampoo
7. soap
8. wash hands
9. change diaper
10. brush teeth (a sign that I made up)
11. tickle
12. shirt
13. bubbles
14. I love you

Feelin' Rad in Her Hand-Me-Down Pink Coveralls

I think she looks oddly like a oddly feminine gas station attendant

Weaning?

I think I'm starting the weaning process.

First, I'm ending the early morning feedings. She skipped it earlier in the week, so the next two mornings, I only let her nurse on one side. And then this morning, she slept straight through again; a little more than twelve hours in the crib without needing anything from me. Hooray!

So now I think that instead of trying to taper off the feedings, I'm just going to gut it out and do pure CIO. She doesn't need to eat then. I tried to do this last spring but it resulted in her starting her day WAY too early, like 5:30 am. But now that she's older, I'm much more comfortable saying, "I don't care if you're awake. It's too early to get up so you're staying in your crib, awake or not." Luckily Calliope almost never cries in the morning. She plays happily until whatever time I get up. On the weekends, it's often 8 am. She talks or sings or plays quietly enough that it's hard to hear her, so I have no idea what time she woke up.

Anyway, I'm not looking forward to the new regime change, even if I do think it's necessary. As much as I know she doesn't need to eat, I still hate to "make" my girl cry. I reckon I will go in once, after making sure she's truly upset and not going back to sleep, to give reassurance and make sure everything is all right, ie no dirty diaper or the like. And then leave. This will no doubt make her more upset than if I never went in... but it makes me feel less guilty to lie in bed (or work out) and listen to her cry, knowing that she's not vomiting or feverish or in soaking wet pajamas.

Hopefully this part won't take more than three days.

And then next week... I think I want to start weaning in earnest.

This is hard. I don't know if it's the right time. I don't really feel strongly either way.

I always imagined I would nurse until she was two. But she seems like she's at an age where it wouldn't be hard to just distract her -- this morning, she asked for a banana when I went into her room, though she was happy to nurse instead when I offered. So why not just offer a banana? (I didn't want to do this today because of the risk of getting engorged and also... I'm not quite ready!)

I don't love breastfeeding, but neither do I hate it. It's okay. When she lunges for me with a mouthful of teeth, I always tense up in fear for a moment... but she hasn't bitten me since she was nine months old. When she's teething, her latch is sometimes a little uncomfortable, but not severely painful.

Mostly, it just feels a little ridiculous to have the big toddler strewn across my lap. She's getting so big and grown up. I wouldn't question someone else nursing their sixteen month old, but... I think maybe I'm getting ready to move on?

So, my tentative plan is to start skipping the morning nursing next week, and see how that goes. If all goes well, both physically and emotionally, I could try skipping the evening one a week or two later.

I'm a little worried about post-weaning blues. Apparently this is common as the hormones re-regulate themselves as a non-nursing mother.

On the other hand, once she's done with nursing, I can try taking these herbs that a Bay Area doctor told me about that might hopefully get my hormones back in whack so that it's not so hard to lose weight. That would be great if it works out, but I've had my hopes dashed so many times that I'm not holding out too much hope over it, either.

Can anyone think of a reason that I should not wean???

Hooray for the De-Lurked!

Thanks for taking a peek out from behind the curtain. It feels really wonderful to know who you are and that you are following our little lives. For whatever reason you follow us, I thank you. You have no idea (unless you are a blogger yourself) how great it makes me feel!

xoxo,
Abby

PS And if you haven't yet introduced yourself, I hope you will -- I'd love to hear from you!

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

According to others, it's



So leave me a comment and tell me something about yourself! Are you an SMC (currently or in the making)? Where do you live? (City and state). What brings you to my blog?

I'd love to have a proverbial peek at you! And thanks for reading in the first place.

And to those who already comment... I love you guys!

Language Explosion

Sixteen months has been an amazing time for language development.

Calliope is suddenly repeating everything I say. And she comes up with some surprising words when I least expect it.

Today's new words include both "teeth" and "sneeze." Neither of these were at the top of my list for "words to teach my child." But she's just observing everything that everyone says around her, and apparently these were the ones that interested her today.

She also asked today, out of the blue, "Yie Yie Yo" for E-I-E-I-O as in, for the song. Without prompting. Pretty cool!

She makes these noises now that I once treated as babble, but at least half the time, are intentional and meant to be words... though I don't always figure out what she's trying to say.

She's also signing a lot, but remembers (and slightly mis-remembers) signs from our signing video when I have no idea what they mean.

It's amazing to watch. I'm so, so happy we've done the sign language. Most words she either uses sign language or spoken words, not both, and she's been signing meaninfully since before she could speak. The "hungry," "more," "water," and "all done" signs have definitely simplified our lives incredibly and surely headed up tantrums when I would've otherwise been clueless as to what she wanted.

Here she is, well, was last month, signing "change me" (plus "belly" at the end).

Her favorite songs right now are "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." For both, she starts making approximately appropriate hand gestures and crooning wordlessly in unspeakably high pitches. Very, very funny. I keep trying to catch it on video but she tends to stop when she sees the camera.

I Knew Our Lunch Date Was Over When

My Facebook status update for today:

I knew our coffee shop lunch date was over when she carefully applied the cream cheese side of her bagel to her scalp. That she then commenced to rub it back and forth seemed gratuitous.

What I didn't mention was that after I pried the soggy bagel from her hand, and tried to rake the cream cheese from her sticky strands of her, she grabbed a baby wipe. First, she wiped the cream cheese off the table, sort of. Then she used that same wipe to clean her mouth, pretending to blow her nose in it (she blows, but out of her mouth, not to her nose). After generously offering her used wipe to the woman at the table next to us, who shockingly refused, she lifted her shirt high and began to swab at her (perfectly clean until then) belly button.

Life with a toddler. Ah. It's joyous, miraculous, entertaining, beautiful, and occasionally... completely exhausting. 

I mean, it could be so much worse. She's a pretty easy going toddler. She's active but not crazy. I can easily have a conversation with a friend while Calliope is around... as long as we are in a toddler friendly environment. 

But the cumulative effect of battling to hold her down to change her diaper (while she thrashes, usually while laughing and not crying, so that's lucky), of telling her it's time to get dressed/put on her coat/changer her diaper only to have her run, giggling, the opposite direction, of telling her "let's go to your room" only to have her veer off in the opposite direction, to ask her to get A book from the bookshelves to read on the potty only to have her fling EVERY book onto the floor... sometimes it's tiring. 

Hence the lunch in the coffee shop. At least she's contained in a high chair, and the cream cheese smeared on the front window of the cafe is someone else's responsibility (I'm sorry! I did my best to get off as much as I could!).

Picky Eater and New Workout Time

Munching on seaweed

This picture shows Calliope at the end of her dinner. Dinner included: penne with melted cheese (a first for her), a hot dog (organic beef and chicken blend) in a whole wheat bun (apart from sharing one at a street fair in October, she just tried this for the first time a couple of days ago), and Bosc pear (new to her yesterday).

Way to go, my newly adventurous eater! She looks significantly bigger and more solid, and even has a little belly. I'm very pleased.

Now that she's feeling more adventurous, I will try to gradually steer her towards foods that are slightly more like "real food" and less like "kid food" so that, ideally, we can eat the same foods. I read a suggestion to give two "safe" foods per meal, things you know your child likes, plus one unfamiliar one. That sounds like a good game plan. I may try adding a little ground beef or Bolognese sauce to the penne with melted cheese. That plus some peas would be a pretty balanced meal. The nanny gave her three different vegetables at lunch -- she's usually pretty good at eating them, even at her pickiest -- so I didn't give any for dinner. I will ask the nanny to just give one at lunch so we can keep rotating them to avoid boredom.

In other news, tonight was my first post-work (and post Calliope's bedtime) workout. It seemed like it was going pretty well... until I suddenly hit the wall, forty-five minutes in (I had about twenty minutes left). I didn't feel hungry, exactly, though the idea of those gummy "fruit snacks" sounded incredibly enticing (not something I typically eat), as did anything with melted cheese. I compromised and made wassa-type turkey/apple/melted cheddar open face sandwiches in the toaster. A new recipe -- I'd be craving something that involved melted cheese.

Anyway, I like how I feel now, except that I am still craving carbs (and I had a Cliff bar, which I never eat, either), plus I'm really tired. So I'm not sure the evening workout thing is a win. It's a lot to add to the end of the day. Even with slugging down some decaf chai tea with heavy cream while Calliope ate dinner. I sure wish there was some way to maintain the mid-day workout. But with only a one hour break (and working in a public school), I don't see any way that it can be done.

Well, bravo to me for trying, anyway. I was very focused all day on psyching myself up for this, and I did it. Well, I did 45 minutes of it.  Now if only I had some candy in the house... (If this is what evening workouts do to me, no thanks!)

... And Hello 2013!

Laughing together to ring in the Happy New Year!

Polar bear on the playground

Polar bear doing her best to collect as much candy as she can, as

fast as she can. She's never had any of that stuff, so I don't know

how she figured out that it's the stuff to steal! 

Of course, she also tried to grab Tide "Pods," kitty litter,
several flat irons, and some face powder. 

I tell you, CVS is more fun than a museum...
and it's only a block away!

Beautifully neat hall table... now to maintain it!

It is a particular "hot spot" because everything that needs to be
put away, or needs a home, gets dumped there.

And the sight of the messiness makes me crazy.
So this neatness makes me very happy.

Calliope "asked" me to get her special quilt (made by her aunt)

down from where it hangs on the end of her crib so she could 

lounge on it this morning. Diaper free!