Rattled

I went to the dermatologist last week to get some questions answered about my chronic seborrhea on my face. It's fine for a while, then gets red and irritated again.

While I was there, I asked about a little plaque on my face, and also this slightly itchy grey ?pimple on my nose that I've had for a couple of months now.

He scraped off the plaque and aspirated the contents of my ?pimple and said it was texture. I didn't think much of it. He sent both to the lab for analysis.

He called last night to tell me that the plaque was fine but the ?pimple was actually... basal cell carcinoma.

Skin cancer.

He hastened to add that it's a very localized form of cancer, and not life threatening.

But it still rattled me to hear it.

I have to go have outpatient surgery next week, called Mohs surgery, where they take a bit of skin at a time and examine it under the microscope to make sure they got it all, then taking more skin as necessary. They said to allow 4-6 hours for the procedure.

The scar from where the ?pimple was is tiny, so I figured the scar wouldn't be a big deal, but my friend Jenn said she had something similar (on her abdomen) and ended up with nine stitches! So now I'm worried about that, and wondering if a plastic surgeon should be involved. I've left messages for both my dermatologist and the Mohs surgeon to ask about this.

Then, of course, my mother has her big surgery next Monday. I've mostly refused to think about it. She's having her bladder taken out as well as a total hysterectomy. I can't really deal, so I'm not.

And then this guy, the one that I mentioned, asked if he could call me on Wednesday. I said I had plans, but he could call me on Thursday at 8 pm.

And didn't call.

He texted me today -- late morning -- apologizing and saying he was driving in the rain and conditions were bad and he needed to concentrate. And also, that he thought I would call him. And finally, that tomorrow is his birthday.

That irritated me no end.

I haven't asked him for anything. Didn't initiate contact. Didn't ask to be in touch. But if you make a phone date with me, keep it. Or take the time to call or text and say, "sorry, change of plans."

This seems disrespectful.

My guy friend said, "Don't text. Wait until he calls -- he will -- then tell him that you treat a friend with respect. And he did not."

My female friend liked my initial idea of just being passive aggressive and saying, "No worries. Enjoy your birthday with your daughter."

I decided to go with her vote because I don't really feel like expending any more energy on this.

I'm not sure if it was a good focus for my nervous energy or just made me a whole lot more agitated.