I had mentally prepared myself for the idea that, what with my embryo measuring six days behind, it might be too soon at 6w5d, to see a heartbeat.
But no, there it was! And not just a flickering, either, like how I remember my first glimpse of Calliope's heartbeat. I could see actual movement, of chambers opening and closing. Practically the whole embryo was that gorgeous heartbeat. Miraculous!
My cousin was with me for the appointment and she was just as excited as I was, which made it a lot of fun.
I left the appointment with my heart singing.
Since then, a little bit of the nervousness has crept back, but not like it was before.
I hate to complain about this but... I feel much better, so far, during this early pregnancy than I did with Calliope. I've only felt nauseous a couple of times. I am more tired than usual, and maybe it's because I'm not working over the summer, but it doesn't feel crippling. So that makes me nervous.
On the other hand, my breasts seem to be inexorably growing. My bras still seem to fit, somehow, but not for much longer. And I'm sleeping in a bra at night. I can't wait to dig out my sleep bras from my last pregnancy when I get home. Because underwire just isn't quite the thing for nighttime.
So I felt pretty confident, all in all, but the out of state RE I saw cautioned me not to get excited yet, given that the embryo is still measuring six days behind schedule. But the nurse from the home RE's office called me and said that it's exactly the same amount behind as it was last time. So she seemed unworried and frankly, pretty excited for me. Which was fun to experience, especially since I called her crying a week ago, saying that the unending waiting of the last few weeks and months was starting to get to me.
I've started to tell a few people, which of course, makes me even more terrified about something going wrong.
But then I try to remind myself that the betas doubled (or more than doubled!) beautifully, the growth on ultrasound is proportional, and I saw the heartbeat! That's all a person can hope for. Oh, and I have a PGS tested blastocyst, so that surely reduces the risk of miscarriage. I mean, it can't be a bloated ovum, right? I know it's an embryo. And a chromosomally normal one at that. No guarantees that something can't go wrong, but surely my odds are good? Right? I mean, right!
|Photo doesn't look any more impressive than last week's... but there's a heartbeat there!|