Thank you for all your wonderful support.
Ultimately, after multiple go-rounds -- my first two sets of responses were deemed inadequate -- my brother said that he felt his issues were resolved.
We spoke on the phone on Sunday -- starting out with his six year old son getting on to thank me for the belated birthday gifts -- and then having a nice but not too deep conversation on the latest in each of our lives. At the end we both agreed that we were glad to have the issues behind us.
I've committed to trying harder to meet his needs -- taking the initiative to call or text, and will offer to throw his wife a baby shower when the time comes. But if he ever presents me with such a list again... I will sympathetically (hopefully) suggest he present said list to his therapist, because I certainly won't be doing all that work again. No way.
I'm very glad to have all that unpleasantness behind me. Now to focus on my final four and a half weeks (or less!) at work -- I think I've decided to stop on my due date, a Friday, whether I've had the baby or not. I deserve a little down time. Climbing the stairs in the subway is exhausting!