Guys. I'm really having trouble sticking to this. I don't know what the problem is. I'm still trying to be gentle with myself and not beat myself up but I also think my tummy is growing back a little and I am scared of losing all the ground I've gained.
Taking a step back and trying to look at this as if I were talking to a friend... maybe I am still pushing too hard with the fasting? I don't understand where my fasting muscle went! It was so easy over the Christmas break. I felt so fantastic.
I'm still really enjoying the food. That's not the issue. But waiting to eat feels really, really hard sometimes.
Yesterday I fasted 16:30, until lunch. We got up early and I had coffee (I don't count the cream in my coffee as breaking my fast) and then went to Queretaro for the day with friends. We went to Costco first and I had a great time finding all sorts of delicious foods to buy. (I am not at all convinced that going to Costco saves any money! It's not like i would've bought that many raspberries, for example, at the grocery store.) I was totally fine for hunger until the check out line. At that point I started to feel a little irritable from hunger but I knew it wouldn't be much longer.
We drove to the mall -- a quick drive -- and then went straight to a restaurant. At that point, I felt ravenous, but that is often the way -- the final few minutes of waiting for food are the hardest. I had eggs benedict (but with salmon instead of ham) and scraped off nearly all the biscuit -- couldn't resist a few bites, so delicious! (I have a weakness for biscuits. English muffins I could care less about.) Plus I ate all the tomato that came with it. I was still hungry after that so I ordered a side of bacon. I didn't really need to eat all of that but I was so distracted (?stressed) by my friend's son's meltdown that I ate it all. After that, we did a few very quick stops at various stores before heading home.
We got home from the mall and I put away all our purchases and I was suddenly exhausted. And starving. In hindsight, I think I was very dehydrated -- I had barely drunk any water all day because I had been drinking coffee (first caffeinated, then decaf). Being dehydrated can make a person feel hungry anyway plus it spikes insulin which also increases appetite. But I was so tired and so hungry I couldn't think straight.
So I made a big plate of carnitas and cabbage and roasted cauliflower. And had a couple of sugar free chocolates (thanks Costco!) to follow it up. I was overly stuffed afterwards but glad I stuck to keto. At that point I was so full I thought it would be easy to fast from then (5 pm) until the next day, hopefully even noon, eighteen hours. I did this the other day and it felt great.
But then only a couple of hours later, I started thinking about the leftover sour cream and onion Pringles in the cabinet. A big weakness of mine. They've been there at least a couple weeks already so mostly I've been fine but... not last night. I did, at least, try drinking a bunch of water first. But I still ate them. On the plus side, I did NOT eat more carbs after that, well, apart from a couple more sugar-free chocolates. Even though digestive biscuits sounded extremely delicious.
This morning I've had a whole lot of coffee, both bullet-proof (has MCT oil and butter instead of cream) and regular with cream. I had a few pistachio nuts too, which isn't ideal in terms of breaking my fast but isn't terrible, either. I did get a pretty good night's sleep. I've been feeling really tired which undoubtedly plays a role in things, too. It's always harder for me to eat well (and appropriate quantities) when I am tired. I'm not sure if more exercise would help or hinder. Last week I did a lot fewer workouts than usual though I did walk a fair amount. I worked out Saturday and it felt hard AND I was exhausted afterwards.
Oh man. I feel like I need a coach to tell me what to do but I really don't want to spend the money on that! I've signed up for a free twelve week program from the Intensive Dietary Management group and I am hoping that will help. And maybe someday all my struggles here will help someone else?
What you're doing sounds unbelievably hard to me. (I tend to eat small amounts frequently.) I don't have any knowledge about this or advice, but just wanted to encourage you to give yourself credit for what you've accomplished already. Your willpower muscle must be amazing! And good luck going forward!
ReplyDeleteI tried to comment yesterday but the page just refreshed and it didn't post, from what I can tell.
ReplyDeleteWhat are your specific health goals? Are they SMART? (Specific, measurable, acheivable, realistic and time-bound.) I feel like your intense focus on arbitrary numbers (keto, fasting) and subsequent binging is unhealthy and a sign of disordered eating.
I would recommended stepping back from keto and fasting, reintroducing a balanced diet of 1,400 - 1,600 calories per day and chatting with a GP, nutritionist or therapist to find the right path for you.
Hi :-)
ReplyDeleteActually I have been thinking about commenting here for a few days already. I don't want to sound disencouraging, but what you are doing really sounds wrong to me. This all sound far too extreme and not at all like something that might work for you long-term. Instead it will probably cause a huge jojo-effect and you might regret having wasted all this precious time in Mexico with your girls on somezhing that does not make you happy or healthy.
I think you also enjoy reading "running for cookies", right? She always writes that only changes you can happily live with forever really help you lose weight and keep it off... so maybe try anything that is far easier on your body and mind :-)
All the best anyway!