The timing is bizarre.
Just yesterday, I blogged here about my breakup with Tom.
Today, out of the blue, he emailed me to say hi.
I shared my news with him. He was congratulatory. And asked if we could be friends now. And added, "I'm a great uncle! I have tons of experience from my nieces and nephews."
When we were breaking up (June 2009), he told me that he'd like to be friends, and moreover, that he'd never felt that way before during a breakup.
I said, "we'll see."
At the time, I felt like, "yeah, I get it why that's good for you -- 'cause I'm awesome -- but why is that good for me?"
But the last time we were in touch (via email), a few months back and the only time initiated by me, I felt like I wanted to be friends as well. That was in December 2010, about eighteen months after we broke up. But then I was too shy to bring it up, worried he would think I would want something more.
So today, I emailed back, and said, "yes, I would like that."
So here's my concern: what if we get on like a house on fire? I'm pretty sure he won't want to replay our romance. But what if my feeble little brain gets confused?
I know he misses his nieces and nephews desperately. What if I mistake his [potential] interest in my pregnancy and subsequent child (god willing... god willing I have a child, that is, not that he's interested in it) as more than that?
I've done a lot of "work" on myself in the past 1-2 years, and I sure feel a lot stronger and more confident in myself that I'm no longer looking for a relationship and/or male approval (for me, I'm not sure I can separate these things... I get that that's not healthy, which is a big part of why I don't allow myself to even consider dating.)
So this will be a big test for me. I want to take it... but I'm a little nervous, too. I hope I'm ready. And that if I'm not, I will know the signs, and be able to call things off again.