Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Coming Out

So I sent out my big announcement to the extended family on Saturday via email. Only I called my cousin Liz the previous day to tell her by phone, because, as my sister pointed out, Liz is a warm and loving person who could only be excited for me, and would certainly never be critical.

My cousin Liz was great fun to tell. Her voice got all high and squeaky and it seemed like she was fighting back tears of joy. Liz comes by it honestly... her mother cries at every bat mitzvah and wedding. I like that in a person.

Here's what my announcement said:

Dear Family,

I have some very exciting news to share -- I am 15 weeks pregnant (with help from an anonymous donor and my wonderful doctor)! 

The result is expected in early August!

I couldn't be more thrilled, and I'm so excited to share with all of you. 

I hope to see all of you on May 28th at T's bat mitzvah! 



Cousin C, who famously once declined to allow me to crash the annual family Hanukkah party when I had just moved to her town (in case you're not Jewish and not familiar with the religion... "we" (i'm not actually religious) are HEAVILY into the whole welcome-the-stranger-into-your-midst idea, lest we miss an angel like Elijah walking around in sheep's clothing. Last I checked, God didn't really go for the whole "but it's catered and you would throw off the numbers" idea, but you know, I haven't been a faithful correspondent with said Holy One in a while, so who knows????). So I'm not really a fan of Cousin C. but anyway, I did include her in the announcement, since she includes me at kid's bat mitvahs and the like. I went to one of them, and I have to say, it may have been the best party I have ever been to. Turns out that "spare no expense" works quite nicely for parties. This is the cousin that lives in the double apartment on the Upper West Side and has a full time housekeeper, in addition to being a stay at home mom.

Anyway, this was what she said: 

Congratulation Abby.  You will be a truly amazing mom.  You are warm and caring and just a beautiful young woman.  We are so happy for you and can't wait to be part of your new life.  Love, C


After this, I'm expecting I might finally get an invite to the Hanukkah Party... just 10 years after arriving in NYC.

Uncle C., who is a staunch Republican, emailed me to say, "this is exciting news!" Not exactly the "congratulations" I was hoping for... but much better than I feared, which was no acknowledgement at all. I'm going to take it as positive. He's not really the gushing type.

Cousin P left me a voicemail saying, "Congratulations. I can't think of anything the world needs more than more [insert my last name plus the letter "s"] in the world." Awww.

Cousin D., who is a reproductive endocrinologist himself... alas, he specializes in male issues... called me from FL to congratulate me! I lived with him and his wife and two babies when I was a mere yout, about to start 12th grade, and very interested in OB/midwifery, and got to hang out in the NICU and labor and delivery with pediatric residents as a result of his high powered connections, which was an amazing experience. so I'm very fond of him. 

Funny story about this cousin. My brother, who is encountering some fertility issues himself, went to see a RE in his town. Said RE mentioned the work of our cousin, upon which my brother said, "Oh, I know him, he's my cousin. His doctor said, "You KNOW him??? That's like saying you know the Red Hot Chili Peppers!

I am not making this up. And for the record, while my cousin the RE does have a high falutin' job now, and did some important research along the way, he's not, like, the surgeon general or anything.

And this email is from my sister:

Congrats on telling everyone!  Liz called me to congratulate me on my upcoming aunthood.  :)   She told me she was in a store on Broadway when you called her, and she started jumping up and down in the store and shrieking into the phone.  She says everyone was staring at her, but she didn't want to take the call outside because it would have been too noisy.  She's thrilled for you.  Apparently P. called Mom to congratulate her, too.  :)

How lovely. My heart feels all soft and warm and enveloped in love.

I haven't told people at the school where I work yet. Holding off as long as I can because, frankly, when I am at work, it's about other people's needs, namely kids', not mine. But it won't be much longer until it's totally obvious. I've definitely gotten a couple of strange looks from fellow staff members.

Of course my medical assistant and social worker know. My medical assistant is wonderful because she plays the part of better-than-a-husband and admires and notices the changes in my body on a daily basis. This is great for not-so-little-ol'-me in my first pregnancy. 

Oh, and finally, here's the invitation I picked for my baby shower. I wanted to pick it myself because I was excited about getting something very cute. I love it. It's SOOOO not me, but I guess pregnancy is all about redefining "me," right?

Baby Shower Invitations Big Buggy - Front : Lime

PS Per the babyticker, only 171 days until birth! So excited for two days from now when the numbers change to the 160s! 


  1. Congratulations!! That's such a huge step! Your family sounds similar to mine... no matter what, they're incredibly supportive. (loved Cousin P's comment!)

    Cute baby shower invitation!

  2. That is awesome that you've gotten such a warm response! Isn't it a relief to have the news out there?! Congrats!

  3. It's so fun once you start telling people! Congrats.