Not that I was doubting it. But you know, a girl worries. Even when her belly seems to swell by the day. Especially when she still hasn't felt any movement. (Yes, I know it's still early, especially for a first time mama... but it's not that early when you consider how I eager I am to feel it.)
So anyway, I went to the midwife today. She lifted up my shirt to do the doppler, and said, "Why hello there!" in a delighted way to my stomach. And affirmed, that yes, I've "popped." But in a lovely, celebratory way that made me feel great.
I also found out that I only gained two pounds since four weeks ago. Which makes absolutely no sense. I'm ever so much bigger. But whatever.
But this probably made me feel happier about her greeting my stomach as a separate entity from the rest of me?
I don't know exactly what my pre-pregnancy weight was, because the last time I got weighed was right after I came home from camp. Camp, where I didn't like the food and thus mainly subsisted on raw, organic, grass fed whole milk and fresh fruit. Mmm. I felt like I was glowing with good health... but it probably wasn't sustainable. And it wasn't really a diet to begin with.
Anyway, I got weighed at the RE's office right after I got home, and then.... oops!... the nurses forgot to weigh me more than a month later, when I started IVF. I'm nine pounds heavier now than I was immediately post-camp. I've gained four pounds since I first saw the midwife at nine weeks pregnant... so I'd guess I've gained... six pounds while pregnant?
Weight gain and IVF ended up being kind of an issue for me, what with getting Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) and all, and ending up in the hospital. Now that was, for lack of a better word, a completely trippy experience. I should write about that. I still mull it over from time to time.
But anway, the point of this point, nearly lost and obscured now, was that the midwife heard the heartbeat!
So yay!!!! I'm still pregnant. Hallelujah.
I wonder when I will stop being surprised by this and settle into this pregnancy thing?
I'm still scared to believe it's all working. I've resisted talking to the Lentil, or even, calling it the baby. Not there yet. Maybe once I get to 19 weeks, and find out the sex (hopefully)? Once I get to 20 weeks, past where P lost her baby, and to where my dear friend Emily finally "forced" herself to bond with her pregnancy (after miscarriages at 12 and 17 weeks)?
PS Babyticker now says 159 days!!! I've entered a new... decade?