I think I've written recently about how much I disliked my first months back at work after having Calliope.
Nothing was really wrong, I just felt tired and unmotivated all the time.
And I didn't like that about myself.
So I came back with good intentions of how things would be different this year.
Well, I think I already blogged about my plan to get off the computer and work on organizing my new home in the evenings. And how I have sort of succeeded in getting off the computer... only to find that I'm too tired to do any organizing.
But it has since occurred to me that just going to bed isn't actually a failure on my part! Presumably at some point, all that extra time sleeping will give me more energy! And that resting is actually a productive thing to do. And that maybe it will enable me to do more organizing in the near future. Maybe I just need a few more nine hour nights is all.
Funny how something so obvious was a huge revelation to me.
I'm still on Week 1 of the Rip 60 program, despite having done the workouts approximately every other day for more than two weeks now. I got up early this morning and completed another workout, despite a tiring weekend of traveling to Vermont for a wonderful camp reunion.
So I feel good about working out, if also a little worried that I still don't feel ready to move up to Week 2 of the program. The main thing holding me back is these things called Burpees (hate the name).
Basically, you start out standing up, arms at your sides. Then you drop into a crouch. Then you "pop" your legs out behind you into a push up position. Then you jump your feet back into the crouch. Then you jump up and hit your hands over your head, like a jumping jack.
These are really hard.
Later in the program, "we" will apparently be doing actual pushups in the middle of each Burpee, but I don't see any point in thinking about that right now.
Anyway, my Burpees suck. Still. I did eleven on them this morning, but... they are Crappy Burpees. My feet are only half as far from my hands as they are supposed to be. But the coach says it's better to do small movements than big movements and then have to stop. So I try to keep moving as much as I can, though I still do just have to stop at least once or twice.
Doing the workout at 5:30 in the morning does not help, I am sure, nor does the fact that I don't have time to eat first.
I'm hoping that these workouts, in any case, will give me ever more energy. It was certainly easier (though not easy) to get up to workout this morning than it was a week ago, my first day back at work.
Though it's just a tad bit discouraging to realize that these workouts will never be easy, mindless things that I can coast through, like my elliptical workouts. I'm trying to remind myself that that's the point -- if I want to change things up, I have to work harder.
Anyway, I'm trying to just force myself to be more energetic and motivated at work. I'm trying to just get things done right away, and not allow myself to waste so much time fooling around (obviously by blogging at work, I am making an exception... my hope is that writing this blog post will, in the long run, motivate me). So far it's going okay, even with having my medical assistant out on jury duty today. Fingers crossed she doesn't get picked.
So, yes, this doesn't really have a conclusion. I hope that just stating my intentions will help them to be realized.
More productive at work. And the ability to do better Burpees.