Thursday, September 12, 2013

Feeling Better Today

As expected, I'm much better today. It just seems to take me a day to acclimate to bad news.

Work is gradually picking up, which is good. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf at work this year, being proactive and extra organized, and so far, it's making me enjoy work more. I think there's also something about leaving a feisty, talkative two year old at home that feels a lot easier than leaving a tiny infant or dimpled crawling baby. Calliope's more ready to be out in the world now, and so am I.

This was a good release for crying tonight: a Home Depot marriage proposal (one man to another).

Old Flame texted me last night that he was free to talk, so about a half an hour later, once I was safely in a cab on my way home from dinner, I called him. We chatted briefly and then I said, "you know how you said I was welcome to ask questions about your divorce? Well, I wanted to ask where you were at with it now."

I guess I should've been more specific and asked, "what's your timeline?" I eventually got that question answered, but also heard some ranting about the ex. (Can she even fairly be called the ex?). I have to figure out a way to very politely cut him off. I was worried about hurting his feelings if I interrupted mid-stream. But I really don't enjoy being exposed to that sort of venom. Even if it's not directed at me, it's still ugly.

After a few minutes he stopped, and I sort of gently reiterated that I'm not a good person for him to process with. And then he said, "my therapist says I have to make peace with the fact that I will probably never know the reason that she ended things."

So I'm glad he is still talking to the therapist.

I'm definitely going to DC for the Red Dress Run... and my best friend -- I went to the fancy schmancy work dinner with him last night at the Big Boss's house in NJ -- offered to pay for a weekend of babysitting so I don't have to bring Calliope along!

Sweet! Much more of a break this way, and also, I think it wouldn't hurt to limit her contact with Old Flame. Not that I'm worried about her getting attached, but I'm worried about him getting overly attached. I don't need that complication.

I'm feeling pretty solid about the whole thing. He said he hopes to have the divorce finalized by the end of 2013. I have no idea if that is realistic. I have a feeling it might not be, but I'm not sweating it too much. Regardless, my goal now is to just keep things light until the divorce is finalized. Ideally, to not even talk about being in a relationship until after that happens. If he brings it up, then so be it, but I'm not going to encourage it.

And then, once the divorce is finalized, then we can both begin to see just how much we even like each other. It may turn out to just be a fun flirtation and attraction and not a lot more. Time will tell.

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