Wednesday, September 11, 2013

It Turns Out That Maybe You Can't Just Refuse To Be Sad

I was feeling cranky and then my friend Stephen stopped by my office. He's a teacher, and he's become a dear, if offbeat, friend. Along with his wife and son. He brought me leftovers 'most every day when my Dad was sick and dying, especially when I commented that sometimes the thought of going grocery shopping was just too overwhelming.

So I mentioned the bad news, and added, "So I guess I'll be expecting a lot more home cooked meals, eh?"

He nodded solemnly as the tears welled up.

I don't want to go through this again.

I know I just have to get through today. I have a car service picking me up at 4 pm and transporting me to NJ where I will be my friend's date for his work shindig. This is my other best friend, Scott, my (long ago) ex boyfriend. He's my family, too, and being with him will be nice. Though being with his boss and the New Board Member won't be relaxing. Then we will have a nice ride home together.

I know my pattern now. I just have to survive today and I will wake up composed again tomorrow.

It's just, I thought I could get through this without being sad like this. By just refusing to feel sad.

It doesn't seem to work that way.


  1. I wish it did work that way. Hugs

  2. Oh Abby. I am so very sorry to hear this news. You and Calliope deserve better. That is so unfair. Mad, sad...I'm sure you'll go through it all in the next few days, and then some.

    Thinking of you and your family.


  3. I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. It's okay to be sad and mad. Thinking if you and your family.

  4. I'm sorry Abby. Of course you feel sad. Try to take good care of yourself and do let your friends take care of you too. Sending you and your mom lots of strength.

  5. I am so so sorry! Please take care of yourself and as Claire said, let others take care of you also.