Wednesday, September 11, 2013

I'm So Mad

I know, not exactly the words that reach you and grab you and make you want to read a post.

But my mom's cancer has returned. She has enlarged lymph nodes in her abdomen. Already.

She's had abscesses since her surgery which just won't seem to finish healing. And can't start chemotherapy until they are healed.

Her oncologist says that a few weeks one way or the other won't make a difference. And that the chemo will beat back the cancer... for a while. I gather she might even have years to live. (Though I doubt that.) But it will definitely get her.

Unless, of course, she gets taken by something else in the meantime.

I've lost a parent already.

It sucked.

I don't want to do this again.

Given that I don't have an option, I'm trying to just steel knuckle my way through. But that's not helping today.

I don't want to do this. I don't want Calliope and my family to get even smaller.

So I'm really mad. (And a little sad, too, underneath.)


  1. I'm so sorry Abby. You and your mom will both be in my thoughts and prayers.

  2. I've lost a parent as well & you're right, it totally sucks! You have every right to be mad & sad. I'm deeply sorry you & your family are having to go thru this. Sending hugs & prayers

  3. I'm sorry to hear this sad news. Thinking of you and wishing you strength to get through this one day at a time

  4. Oh Abby. I'm sorry to hear that. It really just is awful, and I hope she does have years. My sweet Tot never new my mom and won't remember my dad. I hope Callippe gets many memories with your mom!

  5. I'm mad with you and very sorry that you and your family are facing this terrible disease. I'll be thinking of you and your mom.

  6. Oh Abby, I'm so sorry. Cancer is a bitch. I hope the treatment can start soon and really will give her more years to live. Thinking of you.

  7. I'm mad and sad for you. For both of you.

    Cancer sucks.