I went for my fourth and final beta two days ago, on Friday.
I took another of the super cheap pregnancy tests that morning, and the line didn't seem any darker, so I wasn't all that optimistic that my beta HCG had gone up enough. Plus, a fellow SMC had emailed me to suggest that I not get my hopes up -- she'd had multiple chemical pregnancies, and when others offered hope, it made her feel worse in the long run. Granted, her betas had never doubled like mine had, but she felt like very low betas like mine typically double much more quickly in those rare instances when they turned into viable pregnancies. So she wasn't optimistic for me. This was gut wrenching to contemplate.
So... my beta went from 56 on Wednesday to 136 on Friday!!!
The nurse sounded downright jubilant on the phone as she announced, "You are definitely pregnant!"
I could hardly breathe; I was so relieved.
I know I'm not out of the woods yet; I need to see a heartbeat before I can start thinking about an actual baby resulting from this craziness. But for now, I can imagine a successful pregnancy. And that's a beautiful image to envision.
On the advice of other SMC's, I'm not taking the nurse's advice to come in this week, at five and a half weeks, for an ultrasound to look for the gestational sack. I know that especially with low betas, it's possible that there won't be anything visible. And facing that, but not getting definitive answers and still having to wait, would be torture.
So I emailed the RE directly to ask if it would be okay to wait, and he said it's fine to come whenever I want. Yay! So I'm planning to go at seven and a half weeks. It's hard to wait, but I'm planning to relax into enjoying pregnancy without fear. Spending my days wracked with anxiety was no way to live, or to parent, and it's not as if living this way would make a miscarriage less painful. So I'm resolved to feel good for the time being. And worry when I have reason to.
Though I'm sure I'll be terrified when the actual ultrasound rolls around. But that's not for two more weeks!