I don't know if my low beta was just a slow start, but totally within normal limits (if at the extreme end) or if this such an odd situation that I ought not to have hope.
I've stopped doing research because it was making me crazy. The typical pregnancy websites say that a beta as low as 5 can happen on the day of the missed period (mine was 8 on that day or the day after, depending on how you count it -- if you transfer a day 6 blast, I think you still count it as day 5?). So if mine was 8 the day before my missed period, then maybe that's not horrible.
But the nurse said something about this being a "late implantation" but I made the mistake of googling "IVF & late implantation" and one fertility center website said it was impossible.
The anxiety is intense. I'm glad I have a beta in the morning... but also dreading the results and the potential bad news.
Today's daily fix of pregnancy test: a darker line (though still not exactly dark, but definitely visible) in under 2 minutes.
On the plus side, I did a better job as a parent tonight. The stress has made me very impatient with Calliope, and her behavior was starting to reflect that -- way more acting out. Tonight we were both on our best behavior, possibly because she took a two and a half hour nap (she skipped it yesterday). We had a lovely late afternoon swim with my cousin and my SIL and their two kids. We stayed after they left, indeed, we stayed as long as we could because I couldn't bear to come back home. The anxiety is worse here.
Calliope can't swim a lick but she's totally fearless in the water. Just walks right in. I think she's too young for swim lessons -- or rather, it would be a whole lot of effort and money for relatively little progress. I'd rather wait until she's a little older and more coordinated. But getting her comfortable in the water is definitely worthwhile. So I think it's time to work on bubble blowing and breath holding.