Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Working on (?Past) The Anxiety

I started to realize a couple of days ago that anxiety was taking over. That this wasn't normal newly-pregnant-woman nerves. I mean, anyone would worry with low betas. But I was spending entire days with a boulder in my stomach. I was making myself and my child pretty unhappy.

So yesterday I worked out in the morning so as to make sure I'd have time to do prenatal yoga with meditation in the afternoon. Unfortunately, my current child decided not to nap, so my meditation "practice" was accomplished with an almost three year old hanging off my body. And then I had further snafus with trying to get an ultrasound scheduled locally. And had to spend ever more time on the phone.

But it was a start. And last night, by the time I got Calliope into bed, I was exhausted. I ate a bit more food and then fell into bed at 8:30 pm. And turned out the light at 9 pm. Approximately three hours earlier than normal!

So it could be a fluke, but maybe this is one more sign of pregnancy?

I also seem to be more sensitive to smells. Not to the point of nausea; I'm just noticing a lot more smells in the world. And my nipples are sore. And my digestion seems off -- food seems to sit more heavily in my stomach.

All potentially suggestive of pregnancy... but not guarantees. I sure wish I had catologued all these things with the first pregnancy... but I was too nervous to blog until my pregnancy was well underway.

First sonogram is scheduled for this Friday, two days away. I'll be five weeks and six days. I'm not obsessing about it yet, so that's progress.

I also went for acupuncture this morning for the first time in a month or more, so perhaps that's helping.

For now, I'm focusing on being very much attached to this pregnancy... but not yet allowing myself to become attached to the idea of a baby.


  1. Good luck to you Abby! I've got my fingers crossed that you'll have a healthy, easy pregnancy. You've come this far! Maybe one good thing about having C around is the distraction - perhaps taking care of her will keep your mind off worrying long enough for you to get past the anxious stage and into clear waters. Keep us posted!

  2. It's a hard line to walk. Sending lots of positive thoughts.

  3. Oh it's such an anxious time! When do we stop worrying? When we see the fetal pole? When we hear a heartbeat? I say when they graduate college!

  4. Hang in there. I heard a song today & thought of you & wondered if meditation or music therapy would help your anxiety. Obviously meditation with a 3 yo is not a easy ;) Could it help to think of a positive mantra to focus on in your head when you feel the anxiety build? Sending positive vibes your way

  5. It's so hard not to get all caught up in the worry. To think, previous generations wouldn't even know that they were pregnant yet most likely. For now, deep breathes in and out as much as you can!

  6. I totally understand that last paragraph.

    I'm sorry, again, if my words hurt you. Not my intent.

    Wishing you peace.

  7. It is an anxious time but I think you are handling the emotions brilliantly. With you on that last bit too!

  8. Hang in there--going to bed early is going to be a great go-to strategy for the next few months!