So I know I've "talked" to y'all about following the Weston Price diet. Using this book called "Eat F.at to Lose Fa.t."
It doesn't seem to be resulting in weight loss.
Talking to the dairy guy at the farmer's market on Sunday, I mentioned that I was trying to eat this certain way, and he started going about, "I don't see why people need to do this! I mean, it's easy, just eat less and do more!"
And what I wanted to say was, "Listen, fucker, not for all of us! I do eat less, and I do do more. And the weight only adds up. So speak for yourself... but don't assume your truth holds for everyone!"
Instead, I said, "yeah, well, that didn't work for me."
However, I'm trying to focus on health, and hope that maybe the weight will take care of itself. And failing that, that I will lead and happy and healthy and loved life, anyway. Because weight doesn't say anything about a person's life.
Regardless, however, I'm trying to go gluten free, because I've noticed that when I eat processed carbs, I feel horrible. Drugged and headachy and sometimes I get reflux, which I've never had any other time, except pregnancy.
I did it for three days, then broke it for biscuits and my favorite brunch place, then did it for a week, and broke it for the amazing chocolate chip cookie pie thing at my cousin's bat mitzvah this past Saturday. But honestly, the main reason that I did was that I was just still hungry. Despite the big dinner of sushi appetizers, then fish and veggies for dinner.
Sunday I reached for a bagel at the cousins' brunch, giving myself permission to have it, then realized I really didn't want it. The dread of how it would make me feel has made me lose interest, I guess. I also think having more fat in my diet has made me much less interested in processed carbs.
So I have been in contact with a person who coaches this sort of eating. And this past week, I incorporated one of her suggestions -- I made organic chicken broth and ate it at (nearly) every meal. It grossed me out when I tried it during pregnancy but now I rather like it. It's nice because I get so tired of eating (I'm always hungry!), and it's easy and requires no forethought to warm a mug of broth. I even let Calliope taste it (in the tub, again... she made a horrified face at the first taste... but then looked up at me with an inquisitive face as if to ask for more). This week my goal is to make some fermented veggies. According to this woman, fermented foods really help to absorb more from food.
Fermented foods don't appeal to me in the slightest, however. I've never liked anything pickled.
But I am bound and determined to give it a try. I'm hoping that by getting more from my food, my prodigious appetite might decrease. Because I really am tired of eating all the time. It's just that I get so damn hungry.
I will say that even without weight loss, I think this way of eating may be the reason that my skin is clear. And I think maybe I have a little less hair-in-places-I-don't-want-it? I never had a ton, but it increased in recent years.
It's so hard not to be envious of others' easy weight loss. I eat so healthy, and I never eat to "full" -- I always stop at "no longer hungry" (there's a big difference)... in earlier days, this would've meant weight loss. And I exercise!
But I'm trying to make my peace with the fact that I just don't get to choose what body I get.
So I'm trying to focus on the things it can and does do so beautifully.
Like that it carried a perfect baby to [well past] due. And that it still beautifully, perfectly exclusively nourishes her with breastmilk. Indeed, it nourishes other babies as well, since I've now donated to one baby and am in communication to nourish another. And that it's healthy and strong and vital and energized. These are all precious gifts.