After a reader comment a while back that I was posting about romance too much, I've been hesitant to share here.
But another reader asked for an update, so here's the news, in a nutshell.
Old Flame and I have been spending increasing amounts of time together, nearly every other weekend. And not just a Saturday night date thing, either, but an entire weekend, or much of one.
It was great... a lot of the time. Other times, it felt weird. Like we were out of sync, somehow.
I'll leave out a lot of the pondering and musing I did, and leave it that I decided, and informed him, that we need to take a break. That the fact that he isn't divorced yet is muddying the waters too much.
What I told him is that things feel like they are moving too fast, given the fact that he is still married. But in truth, and upon further reflection, it's more than that. It's that our heads and hearts can't be in sync while so much of his energy is tied up in the marriage, and in the as yet undecided situation with his daughter.
What's cool about this is... I feel absolutely great! I have no regrets. I'm not sad or lonely. I feel 100% confident that I will be completely happy if we never get back together. If he does get his act together, and we try again, and it feels good, well, then that will be great, too.
Pre-SMC journey, I don't think I would've ever had the strength of conviction to ask for a break. I wouldn't have respected my own needs enough. And would've let things fester, and become resentful, until at last I just ended things.
Now, I know that I have a fantastic life. My gorgeous child, my wonderful village of friends, my supportive family, my healthy work life balance.... it all leaves me so fulfilled. And if he wants to be a part of that life, he's got to get his act together. That's on him. But my happiness, that's all me, and it's unscathed by him. I am, and will continue to be, happy.
I love dating as an SMC. I'll never be dependent on a romantic prospect for my happiness again.