Delicious

On the beach in FL last week, snuggling my sweet girl

Twelve weeks, well, right now, really, is my new favorite age.

I thought I would be missing the newborn days but this is even better.

Calliope is just so darn delicious. Those cushiony cheeks and those silky thighs. The enormous grins and sheer delight on her face when she sees me -- "You again! You're my favorite person in the whole wide world and again, here you are! How lucky could I be???" -- this is what seems to be crossing her mind each and every time I fetch her from the crib.

Her head control is pretty solid and now she's working on her back muscles.

She is batting (and kicking) at toys but can't hold on to them yet. But she loves to hold on to my finger, or my shirt, while she nurses, or while I carry her in the Beco. The other day I realized she was holding the strap of my bag, as if she was helping to carry it. This morning she was slapping my chest with her hand while she nurses -- that was a new one for us, and very funny. Not an angry slap, more of a "huh, so this is the noise that's made when my palm connects with her skin."

She's suddenly shown a big upsurge in her vocalizing, with near constant cooing at times. She's totally smitten with the bathtub, now that's we've moved her bath seat from the kitchen sink to the tub. Her little legs churn the water while her face shows total concentration. I just kneel on the floor with my chin on my arms on the edge of the tub and watch with, let's face it, total adoration.

And yet, with all her new skills, she hasn't yet reached the point where she's tired of the limits imposed by my arms. She loves to lie on the playmat on the floor but is equally happy to be held in my lap. Oh, how I will miss this when she squirms to get down. I know that stage, well, the rest of her life, really, is just a short period of time away.

And she's still so light, it's a delight to carry her. My arms don't get tired. And when she snuggles her head against my chest, oh, it's delicious.

It's funny, I think I don't really "get" how to co-sleep, because I love the idea of sleeping while cuddling a baby, but it doesn't really work that way for us. She's usually swaddled and on the other side of the bed from me, for safety reasons. If we fall asleep nursing, I'm at a sort of uncomfortable angle, so it's not that sweet, either. Maybe when she's bigger and free of the swaddle.

For now, I'm savoring each precious day.

These last few have been especially precious, perhaps because I'm in the countdown to returning to work -- one last week at home, one week for Thanksgiving travels, and then she starts daycare -- partial days to start, for the first three days. On that fourth day, Thursday, I go back to work (on the advice of a new moms' group leader, I'm not starting on a Monday. I'm grateful for the chance to transition her gradually into daycare. It will be a bruising blow to the system to be away from her at a time. I'm very thankful it won't be nine hours the first day.