I Think I'm Ready

Our midwife, Catherine, with Calliope 

Yesterday, Calliope and I went to see Catherine, my midwife, to bring her a lavender plant and a birth announcement. She told me that I looked "better than I've ever seen you," which felt great! She also asked if my PCOS did not come back, because she said my skin was looking so very clear. I've not been dieting, but I have been loosely following a book called "Eat Fat to Lo.se Fat" which has me eating a high fat, relatively high protein and low carb diet. This includes taking coconut oil three times a day. I would not say that the weight is just melting away, but I do think it's helping with my skin and a couple of days ago, I felt cramping that felt like it could be ovulation... so I wonder if it really could help the PCOS?

Calliope and my awesome RE, Dr. Trivax

We also went back to see my RE and his staff. That was fun! It has been such a long time; I felt more distant than I had expected (having a baby definitely cured me of my crush on him!), but it was really nice to see them. And I warned them that they may see me back in a few years to thaw one of my blastocysts and give it another try. But my RE cautioned me not to hurry, to enjoy my time with Calliope, and I am certainly inclined to agree. I feel so fortunate to have those blasts on ice, because they will keep indefinitely. Of course there are no guarantees, but he seemed confident about the quality, that one would work. We shall see.

But it all felt like a nice round of closure, seeing him and Catherine. Which makes me determined to finish my birth story tonight. One more thing to have done before I return to work tomorrow.

What won't be done is... washing the dinner dishes, or packing my lunch, or the pumping bag. I'm so tired.


Yesterday I was so exhausted from Calliope's late night hijinks the previous few nights (as a result of her cold) that I took an early evening nap with her. Which left me wide awake after her bedtime... affording me the opportunity to open my mail, pay my bills, sign my lease, and generally get organized.

Today Amy, the other nanny share mom, and her baby Eleanor came over. We spent several hours finalizing the contract (we downloaded a sample from the Pa.rk Sl.ope Par.ents website -- so helpful!) and typing it all up. Taking turns nursing and typing. Eleanor is just two weeks younger than Calliope and such a cute little peanut!

I told Calliope that she is going to have a built-in BFF, and she got a huge grin on her face!

Tonight Amy and Eleanor came back over as well as "Ana, " the nanny. We went over everything and then when Amy and Eleanor left, I went over my notes on Calliope. She gave me high praise for getting Calliope on a four hour schedule and being able to put herself to sleep, which made me feel great.

I'm happy about Ana. She seems very confident and kind and responsible. She hasn't watched TV in seven years! (This is not an example of confident and all the rest, just a nice plus to me, since I don't watch TV either.)

In other exciting news, I started putting Calliope on the potty occasionally. I would cue her to pee and nothing would happen. I was determined not to stress it so I continued once a day or so for the past week. Yesterday, I think, she started, uh, passing gas, so I gently put her on the potty (because I was committed to stopping if it made her cry, since I think putting her there against her desire caused a potty strike last go-round) and cued her with a grunting noise (rather than the "psst") and she immediately pooed. The exact same thing happened three times today! And now it seems like she is passing wind and deliberately not pooing until I put her on the potty. So it seems more of a collaborative effort, which is great! And the nanny is very happy to continue to offer the potty as well, since they toilet train young in her country, starting when the kids can sit, which is older than Calliope, but she will try anyway. And as a result, Amy is game to try it as well!

More Calliope developments... so she's been avidly sucking her fingers for the last week or so. Making very adorable but very loud slurping noises which are especially humorous when they are emanating from the baby carrier where you can't necessarily see her face, just hear her. Well, today she figured out how to get her thumb inside her mouth, instead. Just the thumb. This is clearly a huge win for her. Suddenly, she can suck her thumb, and not just for entertainment, as with her fingers, but for comfort.


For her final evening nap, I put her down with the right hand unswaddled... and she went right to sleep, with the thumb firmly in her mouth. No squawking for the pacifier! Same thing at bedtime! No complaining whatsoever about bedtime or the paci! This might mean... that I don't have to get up to get her in the night until she is really, truly hungry. Wow!