|lunching in Williamsburg. Photo by|
fellow SMC, Jenn. thanks for remembering
that we never have photos with us moms
in them! (Why I didn't return the favor is
beyond me... sorry!)
First off, a big shout-out and congratulations to real-life (as opposed to virtual) SMC friend Colleen on officially announcing her pregnancy... and that she's having a girl! Colleen and I were in the same crazy running group together and then months later, I saw her name on a SMC listserve post and emailed her to say, wow, are you doing this too??? Now we have a special bond because of our double connection.
So congratulations Colleen and Auntie (or is it Uncle) Grendel (the cat)!!!!
So last night was our second night with only two and a half ounces in the bottle. She only woke up once before her feeding time, and the pacifier once again sufficed. At 4:30, she was latching on to the bottle sort of weirdly, so I took a time out to warm it (usually she takes it cold from the refrigerator or, occasionally, at room temperature, if I'm organized enough to leave it out... less likely these days, with me going to bed early and her eating so late -- it makes me too nervous to leave it out that long). She guzzled every bit of her two and a half ounces. So at last, Mama Bear was being put to the test.
I nervously put her back in the crib with her pacifier where she lay quiet but absolutely awake and alert. I got back into bed. She cried once, after her pacifier fell out due to a bout of coughing, and that was it.
I, on the other hand, lay awake for well over an hour, tormented by guilt. First I was starving, but determined not to eat anything, in commiseration with my child. Finally I decided that was stupid, since I'm the milk-maker, and hopped up for a quick piece of cheese before getting back in bed.
And then I dreamed that I had left her in childcare at the Park Slope Food Co-op while I shopped, and arrived back just in time to see her roll off a couch and hit the floor. I snatched her up (in my dream) and was both furious with the poor judgement of the childcare worker and also terribly, terribly sad for my poor child who had hit her head.
Hmm, I wonder what the significance of that is???
A little guilt pie, anyone?
Anyway, she woke up at 6:50 am, right on schedule, bright eyed and bushy tailed, none the worse for her supposed maternally induced starvation. I, on the other hand, dragged out of bed, feeling much the worse for having laid awake for so long. Possibly also from the run I did yesterday. Indeed, now that I've pumped (while blogging), I'm headed back to bed. Girlie was back in her crib by 8:15.
Thanks to reader Tiara for your reassurance!