Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Not-Really-Sleep-Training: Phase Two-ish, Day Six

Well, as I had been mumbling about in yesterday's post, I decided to more or less scrap the sleep training and follow Calliope's lead, at least for now.

And yet... she slept until 5:25 am! That's without any wake-ups! She did her occasional kvetching, but I only got up once to check her. Her mouth was firmly closed, not searching blindly for the pacifier. After that, I just let her squawk for a moment without interference, and each time she immediately went back to sleep on her own!

When she woke up at 5:25, she was most definitely awake and wanting attention, so there was no question of trying to make her wait a bit... but it was already later than yesterday's wake up of, I believe, 5:15 am. So we are moving in the right direction for sure! I could live with 5:25. And maybe it will get even later!

I got up and gave her a bottle that had three ounces of milk in it, but took it away when she showed signs of slowing, mostly because I wanted her to be able to eat again in an hour and a half, for her regular 7 am feeding. So she took about two ounces (which is what she was "supposed" to get if I was still following the sleep training schedule).

Then I put her back in the crib.

Unfortunately, she didn't really go back to sleep. BUT she stayed in her crib and, I think, talked to her mobile rather than complained. Certainly when I went to get her at 7 am, she was wide awake, having wiggled out of her swaddle, and was sucking enthusiastically on her fist. Which raises another question: is it time to stop swaddling her? Or is the fact that she didn't fall back asleep because she was no longer swaddled?

She didn't eat quite as much as usual for "breakfast" but was in fine spirits, despite having been awake for two hours (typically she's only up for an hour at a time, though that seems to be shifting towards an hour and a quarter lately), but she had a harder time than usual going to sleep. And since I know she can go to sleep on her own, and usually does, it was sweet to rock her and finally to nurse her to sleep.

So I've got my fingers crossed that she continues to move in this slightly later direction for her nighttime feedings. Once she hits 6 am, assuming she does, I will combine the two into her morning feed. I've been thinking a lot about her schedule starting next week, and how to share her information with daycare... next post!

Thanks, everyone, for your lovely and kind and supportive comments. Yesterday was a really, really hard day. I just moped around the apartment feeling horrible. But late in the day I climbed on the elliptical for a punishing workout and that really helped turn me around. I still feel sick about this mix up when I stop to think about it... but I'm trying not to dwell on it. There's most likely not much I can do about it. I'm pleased with myself that I did sit down and write Calliope a letter about it last night, despite being really tired. I didn't want to put it off. Three pages worth, mostly crowing about how fabulous she already is, such a short time into her life, but also telling the story of how I chose her donor (without using the word "sperm"). It occurs to me that I am glad to have that written down and in her file, just in case something should happen to me. It's right next to a print-out of her donor's profile.


  1. As the mother of two children, the second one having just turned a year old, I'm wondering what the rush is to "sleep train" your child. A child that is waking several times in the middle of the night isn't always looking for food. They are looking for comfort and connection to mommy, and at a young age they are not always capable of self-comfort. My oldest slept 6 hours at a time by about 3 months, but he wasn't able to self-comfort and sleep longer than that until about 6 months. But then there is always some developmental milestone they are dealing with that has their brains overstimulated and incapable to sleeping well. They can sleep great for a few weeks and then they suddenly styart waking at night because their brains are working on crawling. Or walking. Or eating solids. Or language. Or teething. They are little sponges that change enormously every single month, and that rapid rate of change is sure to stretch and stimulate their brains. If you think about how well you'd sleep with that make constant change in your life, you can't be surprised when they don't either. My second child is just over a year old now, and she's always woken at least once a night... usually to be quickly comforted back to sleep. Waking up a few times a night for a year is sometimes stressful, but when you look back on it when your child is 2 or 3 or 4, you will realize how really quickly it went. Besides, you'll be battling sleep issues when they're potty training or imagining monsters or starting pre-school or... there's always something. They are living, growing, changing organisms, and change can often lead to restless sleep. :)

  2. I read your posts every day with much interest and always mean to comment more. I wanted to do the Twelve Hours sleep training with Dalton (who is eleven weeks tomorrow) but he still gets hungry every two and a half hours during the day. It's all I can do to stretch it to two and three-quarters or three, much less four.

    But I was prompted to comment today because you mentioned Calliope getting out of her swaddle. Last night I went back to using the miracle blanket, mostly because of temperature issues (it's still crazy warm here in TN) and because Dalton regularly gets one or both hands out of the SwaddleMe wrap and the Halo sleep sack. When he woke at 5:30 I went in to find he had managed to get one arm out! How the hell did he do that?!

    He's been unswaddled during the day for quite some time, but I'm trying wrapping him back up today during naps to see if that helps him stay asleep longer. Maybe he's getting distracted by his arms and hands?

    Isn't it funny how fast things change? Every day is the same, yet different!

  3. I mentioned before but I didn't sleep train. I think Callie will find her own rhythm even if it takes some working out, training or not. I went from being a human pacifier in the beginning to him basically wanting to take over my bed so he could lay out and sleep deep through the night. She's working it out. Such a big girl!