Calliope once again woke up at one AM. This time she was content with the pacifier. But she woke up again every 30-60 minutes after that, each time quieting with the pacifier, until 4 am when I fed her.
After going back to sleep after the 4 am feeding (2.5 ounces), she woke up again at 5:45. The pacifier didn't cut it.
So I nursed her for 3-4 minutes (only), then put her back in the crib. Then she slept until 7 am, when she woke me with her excited cooing at her new mobile.
I don't get why she's suddenly waking up so early (1 am). Is it related to the sleep training? I wouldn't think so, since it's before the small feeding.
But still, something has changed, and it's resulting in me getting much more interrupted sleep.
I could scrap this phase of the sleep training, and just stick with the every four hour feedings during the day, and let the nights work themselves out. Feeding her once during the night really isn't bad.
But what if these frequent wakings have nothing to do with the sleep training? And I go back to giving her bigger feedings at night, and she keeps waking up anyway? The multiple wakings really leave me not at my best, which is worrying for when I go back to work in less than two weeks.
Luckily, I am seeing my beloved friend Liz today. Liz has a one year old daughter, and is the friend that gave me the Twelve.Hours.By.Twelve.Weeks book. Hopefully she has some good suggestions. One of the many things I love about Liz is that she is very laid back about mothering, while still being terrific with her daughter. She's not at all judgmental. And she didn't become a different person when she became a mother. She has kept her sense of humor entirely. She doesn't take the mothering thing too seriously, she takes it joyfully.
I went to a neighborhood new mom's group the other day and it was weird. For some reason this group seems to bring out my social anxiety, which I haven't otherwise experienced in a while. I never know the right things to say. I felt like my baby wasn't dressed right, in her thirteen year old hand-me-downs from my niece, though her red velour jumpsuit with puffy sleeves and a Peter Pan collar did garner some laughs when I explained its origins. I don't know if I come across as awkward to the others or not, but I feel like a total buffoon. I wonder if my social skills are as rusty as my mental skills -- I am shocked some days at how stupid I am. Or if it's just not good chemistry with this group. Of course it brings up all sorts of insecurities that I am doing my best to ignore.
Tomorrow we have a Brooklyn SMC get together. I'm looking forward to that. And on Wednesday I have a sort of "blind date" with another single mom, not an SMC, from what I can tell. I met her when I bought a baby tent from her in the last weeks of my pregnancy, via the local parents' listserve. She seemed really cool in our five minutes of interaction, so I finally plucked up some courage and emailed her and asked if she wanted to get together. I was a little worried that she would think I was asking her out for real, like on a date, but it seemed to go over okay. I'm cautiously looking forward to that. Hopefully the "click" I felt is still there.