Day One: Time For an Attitude Adjustment

One day out from my due date, with no signs of my Lentil making her way to the outside world anytime soon.

Which is hard.

I went to the local new and expectant moms' group group yesterday, and I was the only one there without a baby. I felt like I was being forced to repeat first grade while all my classmates had been promoted. I didn't stay too long -- too hard trying to chat brightly with all these new and exceedingly cheerful mothers as they patted tiny diapered bottoms -- and then went to visit my SMC friend Catherine (not to be confused with Catherine the midwife), which was helpful... Her darling two week old son was born fifteen days after her due date (Cervadil was started at forty-two weeks)! I felt badly complaining to her, after her very long wait, but it turned out great, because despite her having a great game face while enduring the long wait, she had all the same, terribly negative thoughts I've had. Phew!

And truly, what I am enduring cannot fairly be called suffering. It's annoying, and frustrating, but I'm generally not in pain (yesterday I pulled a muscle while walking/having a Braxton-Hicks contraction/sneezing simultaneously... that hurt... but after lying down for an hour, it went away), and I'm still sleeping very well, which I know is both lucky and unusual.

So I'm trying to get my head to a better place, despite whatever my body is doing, or rather, not doing. If I was working with an OB, I would've begged for an induction by now, but ?alas, I'm working with a midwife. I called her in tears yesterday, when I finally waddled all the way home, holding the side of my stomach because the pulled muscle was so uncomfortable... she was kind, and suggested swimming, or a massage. She did not suggest an induction. And I'm pretty positive she won't.

I had acupuncture and chiro today, which were both nice, but no noticeable changes in my uterus or its contents. I'll go back to the chiro on Monday, and am going to take a break from acupuncture for a little bit. I also am going to try to start working out again, with the chiro's blessing -- I think I need that endorphin boost, if I can just muster up the energy.

I just hope the baby in the BabyTicker doesn't disappear tomorrow. That would be depressing.

So here I go, with my brand new, more positive attitude.